Something Wicked this way Comes
by Imbri of the Moon
Summary: Hey there's Dynamo. Oh look, he's out to prove himself the matchmaker and gloat to Alia. Oh look, our martyr is currently single, imagine that. Maybe he just needs a shove in the right direction, or for someone to screw with his programming. SLASH
1. When Suspicion is your FRIEND

Okay. First off, after much beating down of the other plot bunnies, I bring you…

Slash!

Overlay: Alia thinks Dynamo is… well, Dynamo, and has about romantic sense as a twig. Cue him noticing that a certain Hunter has been single for a while, and we have a target for him to prove his matchmaking skills. Throw in X doing a 180 and I think Zero is pretty screwed…

-In other news: I own nothing. I don't even own the title; I just thought it would be cute here. The characters and such belong to Capcom. ;

Chapter One: When suspicion is your FRIEND

Step one: Identify the couple to be. 

You know, you'd think that a Commander, what with a unit that still needed to learn how to work together, forms to fill out, and people to meet, would have something better to do. But no, that got old fast, and besides, there was a sudden bout of peace that had everyone taking a break. They all dealt with it in their own ways; X was developing a lovely tan (lucky bastard and his 'I'm-going-to-make-you-as-human-as-possible creator.) that many a hunter gawked at (Or maybe it was the sight of him in swimming shorts that was being gawked at) Zero had tried forcing practice as normal only to be met with enough resistance and whining to even make him call it off. After that, there were the drinking sprees (Of which he dragged X along) and then he fell back into routine.

That is, flirting. Gratuitously. With just about everything in sight… or as Zero himself put it, _not everything in sight. It has to think. And move. _In other words, if you were a Hunter, you were a possible target. Obviously, given his long blond tresses, gorgeous cocky grin and superior height that was perfect for cuddling (Or so everyone claimed) there were few who complained.

And then there was his current situation. Dynamo did not take attacks to his pride well, especially when a certain someone thought that he was about as romantic as a rock. Or a cow, or… some other creature that didn't have much romantic sense.

Looking up from his list, he tapped his pencil next to the check box while he scanned the crowd. Of all the hapless hunters running to and fro, who was most deserving of his intervention? Of his mad skillz of love? Of- well, you get the point.

Well, he could definitely pair himself up with just about anyone here. What? He just wasn't that picky a guy. If you want to misinterpret that as being a player that's your business.

Then again, he'd probably go through one a week… Okay, now feel free to hit him for being a pimp.

Actually, if you wanted to beat anyone for being a pimp, Zero was nearby flirting with some random giggly spotter in his lap. He'd had the foresight to be out of armor, and if Dynamo started a countdown he could probably predict when she would start going for his neck.

Play Boys aside… Actually, there were a surprising number of couples at the base already. He blamed it on the bout of peace they'd hit, and expected it to change soon. Then again, that would make the resident pacifists unhappy, as well as tick off the commanders as it would kill their leisure time dead.

Speaking of little pacifists…

Out of the corner of his eye, he spied X and Douglas sitting at a corner table, discussing god knew what but knowing them, and judging from the way X elaborated with his hands, it was something political.

X and Douglas… No. He caught the mental images before they could run rampant and stuck them in a corner of his mind labeled, 'thoughts that will scar'. No way, wouldn't work, besides Douglas had a wife already and even if X had been interested, he wasn't the home wrecker type. He marked down the two names and put 'friends' next to it.

Douglas had a wife… but wasn't X single right about now?

Then again, hadn't X been single for a while now? Dynamo blinked at the thought. Why yeeees, he was, and not due to a lack of effort on the part of about half the base. Obviously the Hunter was smitten with someone and just couldn't bring himself to admit it… or the person wasn't interested, thought that right there was a shock to the system if you just looked at him, or if you'd known him for a while. Or maybe she was already taken, and go back to the whole, 'I'm-too-good-to-home-wreck' thing and there you go. And if he'd been pining after this person for so long, it was only his obligation as a decent Reploid to help!

And as Zero hadn't done anything for him to date (Read: Zero had enough self-preservation instinct to back the hell off) it was his duty to help poor X!

Never mind it would be payback for all of the… tactical retreats. (Read: Times he'd run away like a coward, etc.) Not that he was bitter or anything. He was above being petty just because he knew that X could hand him his ass whenever he felt like it. He was above being upset that an outdated, whiny pacifist had made him run with his tail between his legs on several occasions.

So of course he wouldn't be doing this out of spite!

He mentally started a list of ways to 'help'.

Step One: Check. Kind of. He had his target; he just needed to find the other half so he could begin operation 'Moonbeam'.

Yes, he was perfectly sane, thank you. All operations had to have code names so no one could crack them. That was one of the basics of spy/sneaky work, and giving it a ridiculous name not only made it harder to crack, it annoyed whoever was attempting to.

And Dynamo was nothing if not an annoyance.

Step Two: Devise plot to make A fall for B.

-In the process of finding B.

Step Three: Begin actual plot

Pending.

Step Four: Gloat to Alia.

Pending.

Ah Alia, gorgeous creature with the personality of an irate dragon. Not only would he get to screw with X's mind before this was over, he would get to prove that he did have more romantic sense than a stick.

Grumble grumble.

"…Did you say something, Dynamo?" X asked, blinking up at the Merc turned Hunter, hands still up in mid emphasis.

"Ah. Nothing worth repeating." He waved it off and flopped down next to X, grinned and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Of course, he knew that if his personal space had been breeched, X's had been knocked down and danced upon. In fact, he could see X going into defense mode; i.e., his shoulders tensed, his eyes narrowed juuust a smidgen, and his posture wasn't slouched anymore.

The giggles nearby died down just a little. Not that he registered it that well.

"Dynamo."

"Yes X dear?"

"Remove your arm before you find it charred off."

"You wound me with your words! Why do you deny my love?!" He mock swooned, before the customary grin was back in full effect, and there was something in that look that X did not trust. In fact, his little warning bells were hitting him over the head. "So tell me who my rival is."

"…Excuse me?" Well, whatever he had expected, that hadn't been it.

"This person who is taking my place in your heart!" Again, the dramatics, but hey, it got the job done. The slight blush that it drew out was worth it alone.

"I'm afraid that you're confused, Dynamo. I'm not seeing anyone at the moment."  
  
"Ah, but you would like to be."

If it had been any deader, he might have chirped like a cricket. Even the random spotter was quietly watching and Zero gave him a look that said, 'if I have to get up you're a dead man' before re-directing her attention with a few well chosen whispers.

He didn't even want to know what he'd said to start the giggling again… actually, then again…

X just raised an eyebrow at him, not that he could see it under the helmet. Speaking of which, he decided then and there that it would be easier to read X if he could get him in civilian clothing. That and he couldn't, ya know, blast him if he caught on to what he was doing.

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you going to sit there and tell me that there isn't…?" He trailed off, but the meaning was clear.

"Of course there isn't."  
  
Customary Grin back in place, though it looked more like a leer, he leaned in a little closer than he had before, dancing on the grave of X's personal space. "WELL. In that case, would you like to be my date this fine evening?"

"No."

"Aw… but-"

"No."

"How about-"

"NO. I'm above flings with co-workers and besides, aren't you after Alia?"

"Of course I am. In fact, they're taking bets in when I'll get her over there-" He gestured flippantly at a nearby table where Hunters were crunching numbers. Hey, peace time, people were bored and even betting on the love life of colleagues was better than nothing. "But you have to follow your heart where it leads you." He batted his eyelashes. "And at the moment, it's telling me…"  
  
He sighed dramatically, hopped up and rummaged around in a little compartment in his armor for a moment. "That I forgot to give you something."

The little bells of doom were performing their own little symphony. "…Why?" It wasn't suspicious at all. Never mind how he drew it out, or how Dynamo couldn't see the raised eyebrows, or… okay, so maybe it was suspicious. You didn't live around Dynamo for long without learning that you had to at least be wary of him at all times or face a prank or worse.

"Your B-day, of course." Conveniently it had been recent, un-conveniently, recent meant a month ago and he had given him a present on the day of. Then again, when you gave someone a present that had enough meth- er, happy dust in it to run the Energizer Bunny for a month, they're bound to be a little paranoid. Add in the fact that he had merrily pranced around the base with Axl in tow, and had to actually admit the little bugger was fun, and he was more likely to send anything Dynamo gave him to the chemical labs for investigation.

"You already gave me that rather… 'Special' candy, Dynamo." He shuddered at the memory. Karaoke over the intercom, chicken grease in the air vents, decorating the halls with old Halloween props… and all throughout this, Zero had been running around trying to figure out where the heck they were.

"That was just to tide you over until this came!" He chirped happily, pulling out a conveniently green jade dragon on a leather strip. Nothing too flashy or girly, something that just about anyone would wear. Grin still in place, he handed it to the –still- suspicious X, who started at it like it was going to bite him or something.

"Neeeeeeeeeeee X!" Someone chirped happily. A little too happily, and Dynamo winced as a blur of blue and orange ran over and attached itself to X's back.

Glomp

"What'cha got?" Axl asked, peering over his shoulder before snatching the jade dragon up, cheerfully ignoring the astonished looks of the other table's occupants, and the fact that X looked like he was worried that too much motion might make it explode. "Oh… lucky! A Chinese dragon, isn't that the symbol of luck and health? And Jade wards off evil, right?" He bobbed his head as he said so, looking curiously at the pendant before returning it to its rightful owner. "Who'd give you something like that?" Dynamo cheered inwardly and made a note to not prank Axl for at least a week.  
  
"Er-" He could feel his face absolutely burn, and cursed the guilty blush reflex. "Dynamo. Late birthday present."

"…That's funny. I thought he had given you, you know, that ah… 'Special' candy?" He even did the air quotations with his fingers. Dynamo made a mental note to put the 'special' candy on the market since it was this infamous.

"…If you both considered that a real present, I'm scared" He shook his head in mock shame, before putting a hand to Axl's shoulder and sitting him down rather forcibly, ignoring the yelp of protest. "That was a 'tide me over' thing!" He pronounced cheerfully, only to be met with two glares and a stare of disbelief. "Okay… ignoring the obvious fact that that was a prank, won't you take this instead? Honestly, do you think I'm always up to no good?" And this would decide it: Whether or not X would believe him. He finished his speech with closed eyes and a non-plotting/lecherous/malicious smile on his face. Something that had been seen only three times since his stay at the Hunters.

X wasn't as naïve as he used to be. That was a fact, and Dynamo knew it. But at the same time, he did have a rather trusting nature that time and experience had yet to kill off. "Er… Of course we don't. I'll wear it under my armor."

"Really?"  
  
"Really."

"Awwww" He wiped a fake tear away. "I always knew you loved me!" He proclaimed happily, hopping into X's lap.

Needless to say, this caused a few things to happen. One, X developed the cutest little pink patch across his nose, that Dynamo leaned forward to peck. Two, One was done on limited time, as he could hear the indignant shout of the protective friends and the one that was becoming-a-friend. Three, he grinned E-v-i-l-l-y at the sight of wide green eyes and pinched X's cheek, cooed, and hopped up and out the door before Zero stormed over and Axl could shoot.

"..Damn innocent bystanders." He muttered, hearing an agreement from all Buster-toting Hunters in ear shot.

A/N

Okay okay. Needs work, obviously, but I'm a writer in training. ; Read and Review please? I'll try to update at least weekly.


	2. When Backing off would might be a Good T...

Yay! I send Hugs to the reviewers!

I think chapter 3 will be out as scheduled, but I'm also working on a one shot at the moment too… I'll try to stay on schedule!

Speaking of which… aw, it was Fathers day yesterday. We were buys, so I couldn't get online to update. ;

Again, I don't own anything, not even the title.

Chapter Two: When Backing off Might be a Good Thing

Let it be known that under normal circumstances, X was a fairly pleasant guy.

He could tease, bicker, and heck, even flirt like everyone else he knew.

But that's under normal circumstances. Today would be anything but ordinary, as the Pikachu-man had proven.

Don't believe it? Just look at the Hallway incident.

Of course, how could a simple walk down a hallway make things worse? Zero and X walked in the hallways all the time. Heck, they usually ran up and down them to get to the command center. So why was this walk down the hallway different?

Well, it's a little different when your friend has his arm wrapped around your shoulders and is leaning in just a little more than usual.

And even then, no problem there; it was casual contact! Normal! They joked like that all the time!

It was when the hand started slipping south that the playfulness excuse died a quick death by hot plasma.

"Zero… did you just-" He didn't even finish the sentence. He didn't have to; the hostility was there, though his tone had been deceptively calm.

"Did I just…?" He was the picture of innocence. Of course, the fact that his personal space was still recovering after the Dynamo incident seemed to have slipped by Zero, and in his own defense, he couldn't have known that X was starting to fume.

Meanwhile, the little Angel on X's shoulder was trying to cool him down. "Deep breaths, one two three." It coaxed, and indeed, X took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It seemed all was in the clear, until Zero's hand 'slipped' again. Chibi-X mentally tore his hair out and resisted the urge to goad X onto the warpath, but counted to ten himself and smiled, however strained it might have looked. "He's your friend and he doesn't know what he's doing, just move the hand off and step a few feet away." It cooed, stroking his cheek in a calming motion.

"Of course you'd say that." Both blinked and looked over to the other shoulder, where a mini-zero with devil horns and bat wings sat, frowning. Chibi-X gasped, flying over, and put his hands on his hips.

"Why are you here?!"

"Like my host needs me around to be an ass? Thought I'd pester yours… but where is his Devil?" He demanded, looking over his shoulder in the hopes of spotting an evil chibi-X.

"Um… he's on vacation!" Angel X squeaked, waving his arms about. Needless to say, this got a couple of raised eyebrows, as that vacation was spanning a few years now, but he had yet to change his story.

But that said, Chibi-Zero grinned and stood up, milking the 2 millimeter height difference for all it was worth. "Then I'll act in his place. I say he should take it as advances and try something! You know, fun! Light knows everyone needs to have fun every once in a while!"

"Of course you'd say that, you're looking out for your hosts worst interests!" Chibi-X snapped, forgetting he had just been ranting that everything was innocent, the world was the best place to be, violence got you know where... Oh well, even angels screwed up every now and then.

"Quit being so prudish."

"It's my job to be prudish! And you're trespassing; go harass your own angel!"

When Chibi-Zero grinned, the same smug, cocky grin that X had seen at least a million times, he had all the evidence he needed to know that the real Zero used it intentionally for evil purposes. His angel blushed, but crossed his arms in front of his armor and glared anyway.

"Mine's, 'On Vacation' too. A permanent one, just like yours, I'm guessing." Chibi-Zero smirked and narrowed his eyes to half mast; a 'come hither' look that he hoped would win him this argument.

"…You can't prove anything." Chibi-X huffed, turning his head to the side as he closed his eyes, completely ignoring said look and throwing the devil for a loop.

"You're right, but I can suspect…" He leaned forward and caught his chin with a finger, bringing it about to stare into bright green eyes set in a slightly blushing face. "And I have to say, you're the first Angel I've seen to be accused of devil-slaughter. The others are too goody two-shoe to even pick up a pitch fork." X could have imagined it, but the smile seemed to become a normal one, if not a little rueful.

"…I don't know what you're talking about?" He smiled sheepishly, wings fluttering a little faster than usual.  
  
"Mhmmm… care to join me for a drink and deny it a little more?" Again, the dreaded Grin of Doom ™. He held out his arm, which, after a moments hesitation, Chibi-X took, and with a puff of smoke, they were both gone.

"Zero…"  
  
"Yes X?"  
  
"Your Devil just took off with my Angel!"

"Oh. I guess he won't be needing that halo much longer then, will he?" Zero grinned ™ and received a glare for his effort. "But you know, this could be a sign." Zero declared brightly, startling him and everyone else in the hallway and, needless to say, freaking X out.

He was never that happy about anything good… The little bells of Doom started dancing and passing around alcohol.

"A sign of what?"  
  
"That you should stop being so prudish?"

…Scary how someone else had said something similar just recently.

"I am not prudish!"

"Then why do you refuse to date anyone I try to set you up with?"

The insult, 'the fact that it's someone you know?!' died on his tongue as he caught the calculating look on Zero's face. So he huffed and pushed the arm off instead.

"Is it really that shocking that I want to stay single for a little while?" He demanded, meeting Zero with a challenging stare. Normally, most sane people would notice this as 'X's-stare-of-submission' but Zero, as always, ignored this and the fact that pushing the issue would lead to bad places.

"It's like you, I'll admit. But you usually don't wait this long before you start looking again."

"Zero." He opened his mouth to say something, rethought it, and closed his mouth again, before he tried, carefully, "Is this about what Dynamo said earlier?"

"It's more what he did, and what you didn't do."

"…What?"

"Oh come on, do you remember what happened the last time I hit on you?" Zero gave him a rare, serious look, and X paused to think.  
  
Let's see… Zero. Either hyped up on medication or had been experimenting on some intoxicating beverage. Extremely touchy-feely, had meant to grope him at the time and had ended up with a lovely hand print on his face before X dragged him to his room to sleep it off.

"What are you trying to say?" It was calm, the same tone he had used earlier, and again, Zero failed to note the underlying hostility.  
  
"You didn't exactly throw him through any walls."  
  
"He wasn't exactly there long enough for me to."

A quick staring match proceeded until Zero grinned again, and X almost sighed in relief.

That is, until Zero had to open his trap again and ruin it. "But he's right, you don't usually stay single thiiiiiis long-" He was silenced by a hand stopping a few inches in front of his face, and he blinked.

"And like I said earlier, he's insane. I don't know what he's talking about, or what everyone around here seems to be on, but," He shook his head, frowning at Zero before huffing –he was doing that a lot- and walking down a joining hallway.

"Where are you going?"

"To my room, so I can pretend today didn't happen!" It was not a whine. X, veteran Maverick Hunter, did not whine. Just like he didn't throw his hands up as he said it, and didn't let annoying ex-Mercs get on his nerves.

Still, the proof that the day did happen was still clutched in his hand, and hadn't he promised to wear it? Damn. He'd been given a blaring reminder that it had happened.

-----------

Everyone had different plans for training the following day.  
  
Dynamo had his unit jumping about on mats. And no, there were no lasers, there were no training partners, there wasn't even a crazed computer. Calisthenics, yoga, ballet, and, -gasp- gymnastics. The sight of the unit pirouetting to Swan Lake was the object of many stares, at least until everyone else found out what they were doing.

X had had a volleyball net brought in. Yes, Volleyball. The buster-toting members of the 17th were in for a shock when they had arrived decked out in full armor to be met by X, sporting a pair of faded, torn blue shorts and a ribbed tank top.

Not that they were complaining when they had been told to go back and change. Oh no, one look at what Unit Zero was going through and they were more than happy to smack a ball around in casuals.

Speaking of which…

Zero was trying not to cackle as he stood on the edge of the rail to, what he oh-so-lovingly dubbed, The Gateway to Hell. Not that he didn't put his Hunters through hell every training session, but this, this was an achievement he would remember for a while.  
  
Let it not be said that he wasn't a sadistic bastard. But he didn't think they'd protest training sessions after this.

In fact, he was so caught up on that thought that he didn't even hear the warning shouts as a ball came hurdling towards him.

Not that X had yelled that loudly. And maybe it was a trick of the light, but Axl could have sworn he saw a smirk on his face as Zero dropped the ten feet to land in Hell.

Somewhere in the distance, Zero heard cackling. He didn't have to look to know that Dynamo was leaning over the edge, laughing head off, probably trying to drag a protesting X over to look at well.

Well, he was partially right. "I'm glad you find this so funny, Dynamo. Oh, you're volunteering to go too? Zero will be touched!"

"What?!" Again, from above, and then he heard the sound of a gun loading, a saber igniting (Neither had worn armor, but both had brought some sort of weapon, even if X's was for a non-violent practice later and fired Jelly.) a short tuffle, and a screech before Dynamo landed in a big lump next to him.

"…What the hell did you do to X to make him act like a PMSing Spotter?!" the Pikachu man demanded, lifting his head out of the dirt.

What do you mean, what did I do?! You're the one who practically molested him yesterday!" Zero snapped back, shaking dirt and twigs from his hair.

Wait. Dirt? Twigs? Dynamo sat up and took in his surroundings, cursing roundly. It was a lovely, lush Jungle scene, complete with hanging vines that probably strangled, a pond nearby that probably hid all sorts of lovely, rabid creatures, and… he didn't even want to look up. Knowing Zero, raptors would be hopping from tree to tree. Fireballs would fall from the sky.

A glob of jelly would fly past his head? He blinked and bounced up, looking up to be greeted with the fact that he could see out after all and oh look at that, X was standing on the edge of the wall, the gun in his hand.  
  
His expression said all they needed to know.

_Cross me and your hair will attract small biting insects. That I will run and get if there aren't any down there!_

They both shuddered.

Still, the threat didn't seem to motivate as much as it should have. For crying out loud, they were walking! Walking through a training exercise!

Maybe he could do something to 'help' them along. "Hey, Axl."

"Yeah?"

"Get your gun out." This time, he was sure it was a smirk. Something that was kind of foreign on X's face, but ignoring that, he pulled out his currently-filled-with-Skippy-peanut-butter gun out of its holster.

"I'll take Zero. You get Dynamo."

That smirk looked more at home every second.

Two shrieks of 'My hair!' rang throughout the practice room, causing most Hunters to pause in their activities for a moment. The chain of loud curses that followed made them shrug it off and go back to practice.

But there's still the fact that Zero and Dynamo had agreed on something, and after a few moments of fluent cursing, it sunk in.

Reaaaaaally awkward silence. Zero blinked and looked like he'd swallowed something bitter, while Dynamo tried hard to not mirror the look.

Of course fate, and X, became bored of that rather quickly and reloaded. The sound alone was enough to send the pair deeper into the Jungle, if only to avoid the peanut-butter-and-jelly attacks from above.

"Well, I'm going to hell. And you're coming with me." X announced pleasantly, stretching his arms over his head. He ignored the looks coming from every which way for his declaration and instead turned to Axl, who had a rather deer-caught-in-headlights thing going on.

"…Come again?"

A/N

I didn't really like this chapter all that much, but hey, whatever the plot bunnies give me. As for anyone wanting to know about the Angel/Devil thing, blame my brother. I was starting a fan art of Zero with the devil/angels on his shoulder, when my brother pointed out the fact that Zero wouldn't even have an Angel, and would probably go bug X's. =)

The grin of Doom ™ Belongs to Zero, of course, but X might borrow it later. =P


	3. Where the plot moves at a turtlelike pac...

Let's see… I throw myself on the mercy of the reviewers! I was ill for one thing, I think it was food poisoning brought on by some old dairy products. X.x For another, I seemed to be writing this chapter and 4 at the same time.

Um… X/Axl? O.o looks at the plot bunnies

PB: shrug, but look interested

 …Well that was helpful. ; I guess that means that the story is subject to change.

Um, Daidaro? If you are reading this… I don't know about the overall outcome of the fic, but the slash can and probably will only going to get worse, and I don't want to ick anyone out, so be warned.

I also seem to stick more to 2nd person pov most of the time, and soo.. let's see. First Dynamo, then X, and now Zero this chappy? ; The next one hops around between the trio (Dynamo, Zero and Axl) but chapter 5 seems to be Axl's so far with Alia in there a bit as well. Squee! But this commentary is getting too long! On with the fic!

Chapter 3: Where the plot moves at a turtle-like pace…

It was quiet.

….The cliché that it was too quiet he wasn't going to touch with a metal pole. Besides, he had his own rhythm going to break the monotony.

Step step, _thwak_. His braid collided with his shoulder in a steady rhythm and made for a distraction.   
  
God knew he needed one.

"Zero?"

And there was the reason why.

"What damnit what?!"

"Are you sure this is the right way?" Dynamo demanded for what just might have been the twelfth time, causing Zero to stiffen and finger his beam saber momentarily. The urge must have passed, because his hands dropped back to his side and stayed there, albeit a little forcefully.

For one thing, if you were going to commit murder you needed to do it when you couldn't get caught!

"Yes, I'm sure" That said, he sent a glare in his general direction and started walking again. With any luck, he'd try a different direction, get lost, and be stuck there until they ended the training session and had to drag him out.

…If they did. Now there was a tempting idea. But no, the incessant chatter behind him told him all he needed to know, that being that he wasn't going to get any peace and quiet unless he committed manslaughter.

And while he normally wouldn't care, he'd get in trouble. Not like Signas would feel the need to punish him, personally, but it was policy, and Dynamo was a non-Maverick-fellow-Hunter. Damnit.

He hopped over a fallen tree and stomped on a morning-glory for being too bright and cheery, pushing all thoughts of the Pikachu man out of his mind.

Or tried to anyway.

He could already hear the whining again, growing steadily louder until he was sure that his karma had sunk to such an all-time low that God had officially created a new level of damnation just for him and had sent Dynamo as his punishment.

"How much fuuuuuuurther?" Dynamo whined, louder than ever, and Zero knew he was doing it on purpose and that if he turned around, he'd see a grin on his face.

…Just because he was paranoid didn't mean it wasn't true! "We're almost there!"

God was a sadist. Well, if he wanted war, he'd get it! He made a mental note to kick a nun the next time he saw one.

He tried to console himself with the thought that the big bad ex-Merc, someone who had an ego that rivaled his own, was just talking to comfort himself.

A nice thought, but it didn't stop the sound from assaulting his ears!

And it was a well known fact that patience is not a virtue he believed in. He made a face for a split second before it vanished without a trace; he spotted the path out of the level, which would take him one step closer to getting the hell away from the whining bundle of annoyance.

That was more than enough reason to cheer up.

Hands behind his head, he started whistling a calming tune, stopping short as he spied Dynamo poking the pond nearby with a stick.

"…There's nothing in there." He pointed out, tilting his head slightly as Dynamo stuck his head in.

…Okay. A little weird. He idly wondered if he'd have enough time to kick him in before Dynamo pulled his head out, shaking drops of water here and there.

"There's nothing!" He pointed out, turning around and gesturing wildly with his hands.

Zero stared blankly, taking in the spread hands, the slightly wild look that practically screamed, I am not mentally well, do not test me!

…Since when did he listen to such things though? "Yes Dynamo, there is nothing there." He said calmly, a tone one might use on a small child.

"Oh." He paused for a second, just a second, before he closed his eyes and screeched, "Why is there nothing here?!" He gestured to the cold, dark pond, the one that didn't even have a tadpole floating about, and to the rest of the level in general; The peaceful-as-death stage,  where the only even remotely harmful thing he'd found had been random roots sticking up. He even gestured upwards, actually wishing that he had been right about the raptors, the fireballs, hell, he'd settle for a demonic lovebird that at the moment, anything was better than the dead silence he'd heard around him from the start. It was a plant infested level! Just the place you'd expect to be teeming with life and sound!

Needless to say, when you were met by the silence of the dead, you were more likely to be jumpy and expect some wandering zombie to start chewing on your neck.

…What? Zero admitted to being a sadistic bastard on a regular basis, it wasn't like it would really shock everyone that this came from his warped mind.

"It's the entrance, 'a place of sorrow without torment." He recited, as if that would somehow explain everything. Of course it didn't, but why should he bother explaining the seven levels of hell to someone who was too lazy to look it up himself? Exactly! "You look stressed, why not relax a bit and take a nap?" Zero suggested innocently, unable to stop the grin from spreading across his face when the Pikachu man shuddered.

"Screw you, aka hell no." Dynamo snapped, turning his head away and deciding that he was going to ignore Zero for a while. He frowned and stepped in behind him, biting his lip as the silence covered everything like a moth-eaten blanket. Again.  
  
He fought back a whine, shaking his head. For someone who was usually hopping around and blowing things up, this was torment!

It was perfectly quiet. Peaceful. Peaceful was good! Peaceful quiet was the best time to run amuck.

But this wasn't peaceful quiet! It was Sinister as hell! He swallowed and eyed the landscape warily, breathing becoming slightly more panicky as a dead weight settled in his stomach because he just knew something to jump out behind every tree, rock, little shrub, and-

And why the hell was Zero so god damned calm?!

 "How much longer?!" If Zero noticed the slightly hysterical tone, he didn't show it.  
  
"A couple of minutes, so for the love of god, shut up!" He didn't even stop as he said it. A little cruel? Maybe. Did he give a damn? Hell no.

Maybe silencing footfalls had been a little over the top. Still, it had been worth it to see Dynamo hopping up and down crying, 'you're a twisted bastard, you know that?!'

--------------

Life as a hunter was weird sometimes. There were many other words that could describe it, but that was the best one to date.

The sad thing was that it was worse when they weren't out fighting. Peacetime seemed to drive the hunters batty, like they couldn't sit still because they were too used to dodging flying shrapnel and the idea of not having to do this for a while was foreign. That's probably why 'vacation' was a practically a forbidden word.

…God, he hoped he didn't end up like that.

But who could see that happening anytime soon? He still liked his days off to run around the city, something he hadn't had much of a chance to do before, but he supposed once he got up there in age and experience he might just want to lay around in armchairs when he had time off.

…He was not going to comment about X's age. Nu uh, not him… okay, maybe normally he might have quipped something, but there were some things that even his upbeat attitude had to fall over dead for.

Such as X in one heck of a creepy mood.

He could practically see the evil vibes coming off his commanding officer in pastel blue waves. And he kind of liked living, it was overall an okay experience he wanted to pursue further, so he held his tongue.

Shudder

He hadn't really said anything when X had dragged him to find something stealthier. He had opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it and sweat dropped when he had been told to change into his darker body suit. He definitely did a double take when X had dragged him back to the entrance to Hell in a similar outfit, only his was with a dark blue jacket with the commander symbol, and…

And he was confused, damnit; make the bad day go away!

He respected Zero, really he did. He was a great guy, fun to hang around with, someone who, if you were to end up in jail, would be right next to you yelling 'Damn that was fun!'

….Regardless of that, the man was an utter sadist!  He was the kind of person who went around tipping cows, just to laugh at their strangled moo's, for crying out loud Anything he came up for his unit to suffer through was something he didn't want to touch in a biohazard suit!

Oh, like he cared if people thought he was whining. He admitted it! Proudly! So there! He was in tune with his inner child, and it was currently running rampant, having a fit.

Seriously though, can you blame the poor guy? While he had been hopping around on the inside ever since the first time X had so much as smiled at him, not just in his presence, he was starting wonder if he really wanted to get to know his blue commander better. The saying, there are some things better left unknown came to mind.

Then again, there's also the evil presence of curiosity. Which whispers in your ear until you're willing to stick your hand in fire to double check to see if it's hot. What was the saying? Cat doesn't know the stove's hot 'till it gets burned?

And he had a pretty good imagination, so rather than let it run rampant, he'd rather suffer the consequences. Whatever came his way, he'd plow through. It was like his motto; you did not dwell on the negative too long without finding something positive.

Hey, it did wonders for the personality. Everyone else had to smoke something to be that happy. 'I'm high on Liiiiife!'

"Stay alert." X broke through his bubble and dragged him back to the world of the living, a place he didn't really want to be at the moment. Except to his shock –and pleasant surprise- they passed the entrance where Zero had plummeted to greet the ground.

"We're not going through there?"

"Nope. We're skipping to the next level."

"…How?"  
  
"I'm a commander. I don't have to do every level."

"…Then why haven't they teleported out?"

"Because they're idiots who forgot they're exempt."

-------------

It didn't take long before a change in the landscape made itself known. The trees thinned ahead, making a path for a chunk of rock. Dynamo blinked, coming to a complete halt, and tugged on Zero's sleeve to get his attention.

"What?!"

"What is that?" He demanded, pointing in the general direction of the nearby cave, the gateway out of the land-of-silence as Dynamo had dubbed it. He swallowed, a shiver running down his spine as a cry of pain echoed from within.

Zero just yawned, as if a scream was something he'd expected a long time ago. "Next level. In which there will be obstacles." He stretched his hands up over his head until he heard a satisfying crack from his spine, before grinning. "And probably some hunters caught in traps."

"You know, there's a reason they call you evil incarnate…" He trailed off, the silent question hanging in the air.

"I'm not here to be nice. I'm here to harass them."

Pretty but violent. Who does that remind you of? He smiled, whistling along to the sounds of wind cutting through crevices. The light from outside bounced around and off stalactites and stalagmites scattered about, and as he set foot on the land bridge he caught site of a dark shadow moving around in the water.

"Watch your footing." He said cheerfully, hands behind his back as he crossed, not even looking back to see Dynamo glaring or looking down to double check where the shadow was.  
  
Oh, it was just a special effect, nothing to get worked up over. Signas was too cheap to issue a request for a killer shark, and the fact that he thought it was cruel and unusual methods of training didn't exactly motivate him any further either.

"Of course, oh unscrupulous one." Dynamo bowed, smiling again. Oh how quickly we recover.

"What are you on?"  
  
"All I can say is that it goes well with Strawberry soda." He closed his eyes and waved his finger back and forth. Of course, that would keep him from noticing that Zero stopped wouldn't it?

"Something wrong?"

"I heard something."

Dynamo just stared blankly. "Did you or did you not say that there would be obstacles?"

"Of course! But as I designed it, I know where they are!" Zero hissed, pushing him back with one hand while the other fingered his beam saber. "And there isn't one here!"

Oh, he was sure he heard something. A chill ran down his spine and he could have sworn he saw a figure running along the shadowed area.

He definitely heard something trip.

But that didn't matter, because he felt the weight beneath his feet, that being the land bridge that was keeping them out of the water, and therefore dry, shift.

"Oh holy Shiiiii-"

--------------

It had been a weird, weird day. After X's unholy cackle of Doom had echoed off the walls and thoroughly creeped everyone out, he had disappeared in a flash of blue light. That alone should have jogged his memory, but noooo, they had gone to the trouble of swimming to shore. Axl had met them there and suggested just skipping the training exercise and calling it a day. It would be healthier. Something about traps lying randomly around.

…So not only was X ticked enough to play pranks, but he had tampered with his training program too. Needless to say, Zero was more than a little upset about this.

"Alia my dove, my angel, my brooding, fire breathing dragon," Zero fought back a scream; he'd dealt with the Pikachu man all day long, he didn't need to hear him chasing after Alia.

Though he did feel half-way sorry for her at the moment.

"Fire breathing dragon?" She demanded, as they turned the corner up ahead. She smiled at the sight of him, probably glad for another person to get Dynamo out of his woo-ing state. If it could be called that. "We'll talk later. Zero, what are you doing up this late?"

"…It's only midnight 'Lia." Dynamo pointed out, arms behind his back as he sent a glare that practically screamed, kindly-go-jump in Zero's direction.

Did he care about this at the moment? Not really. Zero fell into step at her side and casually put an arm around her shoulder, ignoring the gape that had taken home on Dynamo's face. He smirked, the words 'I can do this without getting slapped' unneeded.  
  
He heard someone mutter something along the lines of, 'I haven't even gotten that far yet!'

He ignored that.

"I'm just out getting some air…"  
  
"Brooding…" She translated, poking him in the ribs. He put his hands up, taking a step away for his own defense. Of course she knew about the incident, she'd laughed herself sick when she'd seen them both trudging along the hallway to their rooms, sopping wet and snapping at anything that even looked at them wrong. "About X."

"Has anyone ever told you you're tactless dear?" He asked, giving her his half smile. "Besides, I do not brood. I plot! Because if he thinks that I'm going to prance around and think that I'm going to take that attitude for another goddamned second then he has another thing-"

"Is there some reason you're upholding hallway traffic?" A voice drawled from behind during his rant, and he turned around to hiss something.

"-coming." Zero finished lamely instead, eyebrows rising in surprise as he was greeted by the shocking, but damn if he was complaining, sight of black leather that tucked into a pair of slightly raised calf-high boots. A white ribbed tank top peeked out from an open, thigh length black coat, slit at back and the scent of sandalwood brought his attention to the band of leather that encircled a thin neck, where a jade dragon hung in the hollow between shoulder blades. Swallowing, he raised his blue eyes to meet a pair of green, and noticed a definite dark line; holy shit, was that eyeliner?!

It wouldn't have really mattered if the one wearing it hadn't been his usually extremely modest friend. X smirked and leaned forward, one finger reaching out to close Zero's jaw. "You'll swallow insects that way… and there aren't any bees around right now." He shook his head in what looked like true remorse, and Zero tried to scowl.

Key word, try.

"Where…" Zero swallowed, ignoring the laugh from nearby. Oh, he'd get back at that bastard later.  "Where the hell are you going dressed like that?"

"Out." He could have slapped him upside the head, could have retorted, but opted for opening and closing his mouth like a fish when the coat shifted and revealed the lovely little fact that not only was he wearing ridiculously tight –and drool worthy- pants, but that they were lace up.

"Obviously." Let it not be said that Alia wasn't as much as a smart ass as anyone else. Besides, he was silently awarding her brownie points for giving him a chance to recover from the shock of his life. "But who are you meeting in that outfit?"

"Oh, no one in particular…" He trailed off, looking bored, before shrugging and cocking his head to the side, his gravity-defying hair bouncing around at the motion, practically begging to be played with. "And I kind of need for you people to move so I can do this…"

"So now you're a wanna be player?" Dynamo wondered aloud, leaning against the wall with the superior smirk on his face again. X had in his own way declared war against him and Zero both, and he couldn't help but add, "Ickle little Rockman X was tired of being the good little martyr and wants to take the title of bad boy?"   
  
"Why no, I'd never dream of fighting for the title of grandmaster pimp with you and Zero. So why don't you two trot off and find some random huntresses?"

Strangely enough, the snap and unprovoked attack at his character didn't have the intended reaction, and X sent his glare-of-submission in Zero's general direction when he put out an arm to block his path. "So that's what this is all about?" He demanded, quietly, "I've been off having my flings and you feel neglected?" The harsh, quick laugh destroyed that theory, and an unpleasant squirm welled up in Zero's stomach.

"Oh, that's what you'd like to believe, isn't it?" Nose held high, he did something that no one else with half a brain would have dared.

That is, he pushed past Zero.

"Go harass a Spotter." He ignored the glare sent his way from Alia, though she stopped and blinked when she realized she was sending it X's way. Well, Satan's lair just dropped three degrees. "Hell, go entertain your fan club, just stay out of my sight."

Maybe it was the actual look of contempt that had flitted across X's face when he'd met his eyes. Maybe it was that he was still bristling after being shoved aside.

Maybe it was just because he didn't want things to go on like they had been. But whatever the reason, Zero grabbed X's shoulder and swung him around, barely catching the transition from shock to anger that flittered across his face before their situations were reversed and he found himself backed into the wall, X's palms on either side of his face.

"X…" He tried, calmly, their breath mingling as they stared each other down, Zero with a calming look while X's passed from pissed to a curious, what-the-hell-just-happened one.

He narrowed his eyes, not really in anger but more in puzzlement, and opened his mouth a couple of times, almost like he wanted to say something but couldn't get it around his tongue.

"Zero," He started, paused, bit down on the tip of his tongue and looked at a loss for words before he moistened his lips and looked away, a slight blush on the tip oh his nose. He bowed his head, pushed off and balked up a few steps, hands out as if in protection before he shook himself and trotted off without another word.

"…What the hell just happened?" Someone wondered aloud.

**Author Notes**: Um... I am a strange child who made X blaringly ooc. Besides, I wanted screw with Zero's mind and hey, that was a good way. That's all I can say in my own defense. I really am sorry for the late update, and chapter four, which I like much more than this one, should be up in a couple of days unless I for some reason have a plot change and have to scrap what I have so far. Which is what happened here, twice. ;

In other news… is there any set pairing at the moment? Not reaaaally… the plot bunnies are fighting over it right now. bops the XZero bunny, which looks smug

Look, proof that I've been working on the next chappy! Previews!

1)

_"Okay Axl, I want you to go and declare your undying devotion towards our favorite boy in blue." Said hunter stared blankly at him, one hand still holding the straw above his orange-soda float. _

_"…Any particular reason you want to get me killed today?" He demanded before calmly taking a sip. "Because that's what's going to happen. Did you see what he did to poor Jerome?"_

_"As I was the one who told him to glomp X, of course. But I'm wondering what will happen when you announce it!" He smiled in what he hoped was an encouraging way, getting up and shooing Axl in X's general direction._

_"…There's something you're not telling me."_

_"Of course! And you won't know unless you go do as I say!"_

_There's this evil little nagging voice in the back of Axl's head called Curiosity. It tends to yell louder than common sense and get him in trouble. "…You suck."_

2)

_Meanwhile, Axl tried to ignore the brawl that had started and pulled out the medicine pouch. Okay, one… one… He fumbled with the little baggie, pouring a few of the pills into his open palm before dropping one into X's cup, staring with interest as it fizzled and returned to its natural light-brown state. _

_Until someone, this someone being the one who had told him to be oh-so-careful when adding the right amount, seemed to forget this warning and backed into his chair. The few pills in his hand flew out- onto the table, the ground, and, of course, a few more in the cocoa._

_Oh. God._

_He ignored the fact that Zero had just grabbed X from behind, trying to calm him down, -something no one thought Zero was capable of, so he was only buying Axl a little time- watching helplessly as the pills of doom dissolved and the rich chocolate color darkened to a deep brown, bordering on black._

_Oh. Hell. Which is probably where he was going to wind up for this._

Review pleeeease?


	4. When you shouldn't take drugs from stran...

Addressing a couple of things… For one thing, my brother was asking me about a timeline before he figured out it was slash and ran. I have one thing to say to that!

…What timeline? O.o And I know that Dynamo isn't exactly mentioned in the games after 6, but… I liiiike Dynamo, he's such a smartass. And I took his silence in 7 as he joined the Hunters to annoy the hell out of them.

Chapter 4, part 1, just because I'm so bad about updating.

Chapter 4 part 1: When you should never take drugs from strangers. Or Dynamo.

Strangely enough, he hadn't the faintest idea where to start anymore.

Yes, and that admission hurt, damnit!

He had to rely solely on the process of elimination and gauging reactions at the moment… not that it wasn't fun, but he didn't have a lot of patience and he was really starting wonder now.

And as everyone knows, a bored or curious Dynamo is a danger to society. And Axl at the moment. He smiled pleasantly, or what he thought was pleasantly, because the overall show made Axl shudder and consider running. You did not trust Dynamo when he made an effort to seem harmless. It was like a pack of flesh eating dinosaurs; one goes out and acts all cute and innocent so you coo and say 'how cute', and then when you let your guard down, you get pounced!

Just because he was paranoid didn't mean it wasn't true!

"Okay Axl. I want you to go and declare your undying devotion towards our favorite boy in blue." Said hunter stared blankly at him, one hand still holding the straw above his orange-soda float.

"…Any particular reason you want to get me killed today?" He demanded before taking a calming sip. "Because that's what's going to happen. Did you see what he did to poor Jerome?" Ah yes. The poor, chita-like reploid who liked to hop around and attach himself to people like a leech. He'd crossed the line, however, and his days of pouncing were on hold until he got over his fear of flying towards the ceiling fan at warp speeds.

"As I was the one who told him to glomp X, of course. But I'm wondering what will happen when you just announce it!" He smiled in what he hoped was an encouraging way, getting up and shooing Axl in X's general direction.

"…There's something you're not telling me."

"Of course! And you won't know unless you go do as I say!"

There's this evil little nagging voice in the back of Axl's head called Curiosity. It tends to yell louder than common sense and get him in trouble. "…You suck." He grumbled, before putting on as cheerful a face as one can when they're meeting impending doom.

"Ne, X" He chirped happily, peering over his commander's shoulder. The rest of that conversation was lost to Dynamo as he spotted Zero frowning at the site from a nearby table and, as he had a short attention span, decided he'd get info on that later or he'd just hear whenever X started tearing into Axl. If he did.

"Something wrong?" He prodded, taking in the pale complexion, the blood shot eyes, the flaring nostrils- okay, maybe that was just his reaction to Dynamo appearing out of the blue, but the furrowed eyebrows were definitely not normal.

"What do you think?!" He demanded, letting his forehead hit the table with a thud as a cry of 'Waiii X I love you' rang out nearby, followed by a moment of dead silence before a resounding smack and a death threat echoed, followed by the clicking of boots announced an exit. He didn't have to look up to see Axl stumble into the seat across from him, but he would have had to of looked up to see the glare he was sending in Dynamo's direction.

"I guess he really does like you," Dynamo muttered, ignoring the incredulous look that was sent his way as he mentally added a question mark to Axl's name on his steadily shrinking list.

It's been about four days since the trippyness started. This included the hallway episode, and Zero has been trying to give X some room.

So needless to say, things hadn't really improved all that much. If anything, X was getting scarily more out of character by the moment, leading gossipy hunters to harsh conclusions. Some believed that he had a virus of some sort. Others said that Zero had done something stupid again and he was just in a pissy mood, while others yet were claiming that it wasn't even X at all, but someone who was taking his place while he was on vacation somewhere.

…Where the hell had that last one come from?

But the point is, Zero was getting desperate.

And so here he was, voicing those three little words he always choked over, to the last person he would ever want to go to. "I… need help."

Dynamo just grinned. "We all know you need help, Zero, but that's what the nice men in the white coats are for."

"Not mental help you bastard!" He hissed, fingers stiffening as he made a jerking motion, almost as if he wanted to wrap his hands around someone's neck.   
  
Must not kill, need his help, I can string him up by his hair later on…

"I didn't say anything, you filled in the blanks. Is someone worrying about their sanity?"

"Only in your presence."

"And X's." Axl muttered, idly checking the sore spot on the back of his head, but the effect of his choice of words caused a twitch to develop in Zero's cheek. It also earned muttered grumbling that Dynamo tsked at a couple of times, before patting his shoulder while sighing in mock sympathy.

"He has been a little… ah," Axl hunted for innocent words to describe his commanding officer to date, "'Off' lately."

"A little off? A little OFF? He's been a freaking lunatic! He almost cut my hair off with a beam saber at practice yesterday, and the bloody bastard just smirked at me and left afterwards! He threatened his unit with a robotic Richard Simmons! The thing went out of control and started attacking people until you took it down!" He ignored the visible shuddering coming from Axl for even mentioning the incident and plowed on, "He… he…" He broke off, too horrified to go on.

"He what?" Dynamo urged in a surprisingly gentle tone, shocked that it was coming out of his mouth but hey, he'd never seen him so serious.  
  
"…He was wearing eyeliner!" Zero whined, earning a stare from the Pikachu man, who had to restrain himself from laughing.

Of course he recovered quickly, but couldn't help but quip, "…Awww, our little baby is growing up-ack!" He raised his hands to block the incoming spoon. "Okay okay… so what do you want me to do about it?"

"Okay… I think there's something wrong."

"Aaaaand?"  
  
"I want Lifesaver to check him out."

"Buuuut?"

"He won't!" Zero scratched at his hair in frustration, earning a surprised stare from those around them. "He says that a mood swing is perfectly normal during extended peace times… though figure that out, you'd think X of all whiny pacifists would be in retirement stage with a novel in the works- anyway! IF there was something physically wrong with him, they would have to run a diagnostic. And I could get him to check for other problems…"

"Zero…" Dynamo started, slowly. "Are you asking me to slip him something?"

"Er… kiiiind of? I mean, I know it's not exactly legal, but-" He trailed off, startled, when he waved his hands back and forth.

"No no! I just meant, I'm shocked that thought you'd have to ask! Of course I will!"

In the meantime, Axl calmly sipped his soda. "I know nothing. Therefore I won't have to testify in a court of law."

"Actually, you know everything. As you're the one he's less likely to kill at the moment, we need your help."

"Qua?"

"It's not going to hurt him. Really." Dynamo assured him, quickly, waving his hands back and forth as he was glared at. "And you DO want to know if there's something wrong, right?"

"Weeeell…"

-------------

"Secret, agent maa-owwww." The grin proceeded to stay on his face, regardless of the new ache in the back of his head. "My singing isn't that bad, is it?"

"Will you shut up for a sec?" Zero hissed, trying to look-but-not-obviously-look in X's general direction. The blue commander was currently in red shorts and a black tank top, curled up in an arm chair in the rec room, a hot cup of cocoa sitting at the desk nearby as he peacefully read from an old, worn library book.

"He isn't even acknowledging our existence Zero. You could do a strip tease and he wouldn't know." Dynamo shrugged, giving him the peace sign before Zero, almost as if in a trance, brought his hand up and smacked him upside the head. Again.

"I thought I told you to stop being perverted?" He demanded, rubbing his temples as he tried to think of other things. Was his reputation really so bad that people thought it was normal to say that in casual conversation?!

"But it's hard!" He whined, a little too loudly, earning X's glare-of-total-submission. He shuddered and waved weakly, letting out a relieved sigh when he went back to reading his book.

"Okay." Zero took a slow, calming breath, questioned his sanity and lack there of again, and gestured in Dynamo's general direction.

"Your mission, if you choose to accept it, and even if you don't you're doing it anyway-" A wide grin spread across Dynamo's face as he lived up the suspense of the moment. He lived for moments of mischief, screw work. "Is to slip one of these –and I do mean one, you don't want to know what'll happen if he OD's- into his cocoa while we distract him." He handed a small pouch to Axl, who poked the leathery thing.

"Isn't this a medicine bag?"

"Wear it around your neck, proudly, like so many other drug dealers of the past." He wiped a fake tear away as Axl pulled the strings and poured out a few tiny, black pills into his hand.

"Why do I have this funny felling that you two haven't planned this through completely?"

"Because you can usually trust your gut, and it's right in this case. Just go with what life throws your way!"

Well, this could get him five to ten easily. Eh, he'd done worse. With this pleasant thought in mind Axl grabbed a random magazine off a nearby wrack and hopped cheerfully down in the armchair across from X's. He smiled and waved as his commanding officer looked up, but stopped when he frowned and went back to his reading.

…Psh, rude much?

He was tempted to start whistling, but had the sudden image of a flying book pop up in the back of his mind and decided against. And how long exactly was he supposed to wait until he saw a sign? That wasn't exactly discussed at length. Then again, neither was what the distraction would be. Good god, were they just going to wing the whole thing? And what he was expected to do if X didn't care and just kept on reading?

Which was starting to look like a possibility. Unless they did something drastic…

Which knowing them, they would do anyway, so he shrugged and pretended to read.

"What the hell do you mean, it's my fault?!" Zero.

"Just that, you blond bimbo!" Dynamo.

Ah, the everyday fights between the two peacocks. Give them a mirror and they'd fight to the death for it. Or at least, that's what it looked like. Axl dropped the magazine, the play fight more interesting, and saw with a frown that X hadn't even looked up from the book.

"Bimbo? This coming from the man whore?"

"EX man whore, I'm only after ONE person at the moment, thank youuu…" Dynamo said with a snap.

Needless to say, he had noticed that X wasn't giving them the time of day. Of course this was a bad thing for two reasons; that being that it went against the plan, and you did not ignore Dynamo. It was like a call for him to drop his other projects and hop around you night and day until you said something.

So in a moment of insanity that even he had to build himself up for, and a quick prayer to whoever was listening, he did something he knew he was going to regret later.

That is, he grabbed X from his chair and spun him around. "And it's X of course!" He wrapped an arm around his shoulders, starting a mental countdown for the explosion.

Oh, he did not look happy. The deer-in-headlights gape, where he could practically read X's mind and it was quickly repeating, 'he did not just do that. He did NOT just do that.' Passed in two and a half seconds flat, shifting into a look that would have sent Signas running and the personality of an irate leopard.

Ooh, kitty got claws.

It was healthier to not look.

Axl tried to ignore the brawl that had started and pulled out the medicine pouch that smelled suspiciously of another 'herb'. Okay, one… one… He fumbled with the little baggie, pouring a few of the pills into his open palm before dropping one into X's cup, staring with interest as it fizzled and returned to its natural light-brown state.

Until someone, this someone being the one who had told him to be oh-so-careful when adding the right amount, seemed to forget this warning and backed into his chair. The few pills in his hand flew out- onto the table, the ground, and, of course, a few more in the cocoa.

Oh. God.

He ignored the fact that Zero had just grabbed X from behind, trying to calm him down -something no one thought Zero was capable of, so he was just buying Axl a little time- watching helplessly as the pills of doom dissolved and the rich chocolate color darkened to a deep brown, bordering on black.

Oh. Hell. Which is probably where he was going for this.

Panicking, he jumped forward and started gathering the few random pills, wincing as a loud thud announced the fact that someone had been dumped.

The groan made him think Zero.

"What the hell are you doing?" He froze, slowly looking up into X's frowning face. His hair was mussed and there was a tear in his shirt, but other than that, he was guessing that the other two got the brunt of the damage.

"Oh! I just dropped some sunflower seeds. Want some?" He stretched out his still closed hand, and saw X shudder slightly while he eyed it. Of course the health nut wouldn't believe in the ten second rule. Oh no, if it touched the ground or some other surface that might have germs, it was no longer edible.

"That's… okay Axl, thank you anyway." He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger, sitting back down with a long suffering sigh before grabbing his mug with one hand and his book with the other.

Axl lifted his magazine to block X from his eyesight and turned his head to mouth 'overdose' in Zero and Dynamo's general direction.

Well, this got one of the desired results. Zero's mouth opened in a cute lil 'o' of surprise, but Dynamo looked torn between laughter and horror. He chose the latter when they both glared at him and Zero started hissing death threats.

They made a cutting-the-throat gesture while pointing in X's direction, which he took as Abort Abort!

God, if they thought that he was going to go through this again later… He chucked the magazine over his shoulder and opened his mouth to cry out a warning before he noticed the cup that had formerly housed the drugged up drink of Doom was innocently sitting on the table.

He blinked, winced and slowly looked up to see X reading again, shoulders tense as if he was waiting for something else to go wrong. He didn't even have to turn in his seat to see Zero dragging Dynamo out of the room by his hair, probably to regroup and find out what was going to happen to X on those pills.

And so he waited.

And waited.

And just for a change of pace, he waited a little more. Was there a set time it took before it kicked in, or had Dynamo given him something harmless?

…What the hell was he thinking; of course there was just a time limit.  
  
"Hey X…" He trailed off, searching for a safe subject… of which there were none. At least none of which he could think of, as X had chosen that moment to pay attention to his surroundings. He was looking up from his book, an expression that practically screamed, life-does-not-want-me-to-read-this-book-so-I'm-going-to-kill-something.

"Well?" he demanded, flinging the paperback onto the table carelessly, resting his chin in his hand as he gave Axl his undivided attention.

Eep. Why would he have felt more comfortable if he had put a spotlight on him and asked where he had been on the evening of March 3rd?

"Um… Are we still going to the festival tomorrow?" He asked in a rush, and whatever X had expected, that hadn't been it because he just kind of stared blankly at him.

Oh, he didn't mention? He'd asked if he'd go to the Cherry Blossom Festival with him when Dynamo had ever-so-gently shoved him in X's direction earlier.

What? He hadn't been able to think straight and that had been the first thing to come to mind. You try holding a normal conversation when your commanding officer is looking down at you with the glare-of-complete-submission.

Yeah, that's what he thought!

"Oh, that." He shrugged, looking bored. "I don't remember saying otherwise. Is that all?"

"…Kind of?" Again, with the blank stare. He must have been throwing X for a loop.

That or the spiked cocoa was kicking in. He thought the latter must be true, because X chose that moment to turn a little green and put his hand to his forehead.

"Um… do you need some help?" He was met by the glare-of-complete-submission peeking out between fingers for his effort and raised his hands in defense. "I just mean, you don't look so good-" He trailed off, weighing his options.

...Of which, there was only one at the moment: Get X to the med lab. With a quick prayer that Dynamo had been right and X wouldn't kill him, something he didn't have much faith in, he ignored the continual glare in favor of slinging X's arm over his shoulder and heaving him up.

"What the hell-?"

"You're not exactly in any shape to kill me at the moment, so I guess you'll have to wait until after you get out of the med lab." He said cheerfully, pulling/pushing him out. "Besides, I wouldn't want you to get sick." Which was the truth, even though they had wanted him to get checked out anyway. As everyone knew not to take drugs from strangers, and especially not Dynamo, he had been a little worried. The fact that he'd upped the dosage on accident had him wanting to tear his hair out, and his conscious was kicking him in the ass with steel-lined boots.

The fact that he was halfway carrying X through the hallway and getting a lot of stares made him fight back a blush.

Ye gods, what a day.

"…Thanks." Someone muttered, grudgingly, and he smiled brightly again.

…Well, maybe it wasn't all bad?

**A/N**: Axl is so cute. I guess I'll upload the second part when I finish a couple of the scenes.

Let's see… I'll go with previews of later chapters again!

I'm not sure if the Festival scene is going to be next chapter or 6, but… here we go.

1)

_Okay, there was a limit to his patience._

_And his drugged up friend singing on a table like some tipsy stripper, with other people as incapacitated or more clapping and staring was it. He might have imagined it, but it was the cry of 'take it off!' that sent him climbing up with a flourish and a glare at anyone who stared in his general direction._

_"Okay X, let go of the mic…" He gestured to the karaoke mic that X was clutching loosely in his hand as he stared blankly back at Zero. His expression clearly said: data received but not registered. Wth did you just say? "Don't you think it's time to head to bed?"_

_"…No?"_

_"…Mic. Now."_

_Well, he got a giggle for his efforts. "Oh, Zero, sing with me!" He swung his arms about and leaned forward slightly, the mic chord flying about to smack a Hunter on the nose._

_"I'm going to pick you up and drag you to your room."_

_"I… don't have a perfect smi-LE." X squeaked at the interruption, choosing to stare out idly from his position over Zero's shoulder than pursue his singing career._

_The oppression!_

2)

_"Um… shethoughtyouweremybrother."_

_X raised an eyebrow and leaned his chin in his hand. "I caught half of that. Want to slow down a bit kid?"_

_"She thought... you were my brother." He blushed, just a little. Okay, maybe a lot. Was he supposed to be happy or embarrassed that someone thought that him and X, one of the greatest Hunters alive, were related?_

_"Oh. Want me to change her mind when she comes back?" He asked innocently, but the smile playing about his face would have made the devil paranoid._

_He wasn't sure if he really wanted to know, but asked anyway, "How?"_

_"Oh, you'll see…" He trailed off, sitting upright when the noticed the girl from before heading their way. "I love you bro!" He squee-d, clapping his hands together before they were rested against his cheek, the whole show making him look a lot younger than he really was._

_"AwwwW?" Her' coo at the brotherly show of affection turned into a squeak, eyes growing to the size of dinner plates when he reached over, took his brothers face in his hands, and pulled him in for a kiss._

_Well, she wasn't the only one who squeaked. X was shaking with barely repressed laughter, keeping his thumb between their mouths with one hand as he slipped the other arm around to the back of his neck to pull him closer._

_Needless to say, she ran. Obviously not a slash fan. Or at least not an incest one._

_"You." Axl started, pointing in X's direction with narrowed eyes. "Are evil."  
  
"Thanks." He smiled, leaning back on the bench with all the grace of a servant of hell. Which Axl was starting to think he was._

Review pleaaase?


	5. 4 part 2: When it's not time to panic Ye...

… Let's see… Festival next chapter, where Axl gets another look into a very different X. I noticed a lack of description in my last two chapters in particular (God I hated chapter 3, and 4 wasn't really any better) and so I tried to be more careful here. Let me know if I did better this time?

Second of all… I'm going to abuse my rights as the author to ask a question. A friend of mine has told me of a kick-ass Axl fic on this site that wasn't there when I tried looking for it. If anyone knows of the author of 'Why won't anybody talk to me' …which probably isn't the name, which is probably why I'm not finding it, but I think that's about right? Um, on the off chance that anyone might be reading this, and if you know, could you let me know? Pleaaaaaase?

Chapter 4 part 2: When it's not time to worry. Yet.

Zero cringed and tried to hide in his seat. I _am not going to look, I am not going to look…_The mantra is your friend! It makes reality less harsh, much like the drug Axl slipped X did!

"I don't need your love... There's only me and myself and I!

Now open your eyes. I'm ready to escape, set me free!"

Let me be, be what I want to be, to be free, as I got to be. Kissing you goodbye, baby C'est la Vie"

Okay, there was a limit to his patience.

And his drugged up friend singing on a table like some tipsy stripper, with other people as incapacitated or more than he was clapping and staring was it. He might have imagined it, but it was the cry of 'take it off!' that kicked his last nerve over a cliff and sent him climbing up the table with a flourish and a glare at anyone who stared in their general direction.

"Okay X, let go of the mic…" He gestured to the karaoke mic that X was clutching loosely in his hand as he stared blankly back at Zero. His expression clearly said: data received but not registered. Wth did you just say? "Don't you think it's time to head to bed?"

"…No?"

"…Mic. Now." He said in his best, 'My-will-shall-be-obeyed' tone.

Well, he got a giggle for his efforts. "Oh, Zero, sing with me!" He swung his arms about and leaned forward slightly, the mic chord flying about to smack a Hunter on the nose.

Zero paused, almost as if he was thinking over the request before he poked X in the nose. "I'm going to pick you up and drag you to your room."

"I… don't have a perfect smi-LE." X squeaked at the interruption, choosing to stare out idly from his position over Zero's shoulder than pursue his singing career.

The oppression!

"…Sing with me?" He managed to ask again after a couple of minutes, ignoring the strange looks random people in the hall were shooting their way. Maybe it was the meek way he said it, or maybe it was the fact that Zero could see the pout and teary eyes in his minds eye, or hell, maybe it was just the fact that X was being civil and wanted to do something that didn't involve causing him bodily harm. But one moment he was firmly saying no, his will backing him entirely with a wall of iron, and the next, it had turned to a pile of jello and he was recalling words to Imperfect Girl, of all the crappy songs X could have chosen.

"Maybe I'm just too shy" He sang, rather off key, earning a laugh from X and swearing to whichever god would allow him to defile their name that he would never do this again.

"I'm not a beauty queen. On covers and magazines."

A horrid thought struck him as he reached the door to X's room. "..This wouldn't happen to be a prank, and you're going to pull out a recorder to use as blackmail any second now, would it?"

"…Damn. That would have been a good idea." He sighed in semi-mock regret, ignoring the slight chuckle from Zero as he shifted around to enter the password. Wait a sec, how did he know the password to his door anyway? Hadn't he changed it recently and purposely neglected to tell people?

It must have been, and maybe Zero felt guilty, because the words that came out of his mouth would have been lovely blackmail material even to just know about. "So what you see is what you get, a girl of no regreeeets." With a sigh of someone being relieved of a heavy burden, (X: Oy!) he dropped him unceremoniously on his bed and started removing his shoes. "I'm not ideal, I'm quite absurd. I'm just an impeeeeerfect girl." He shifted his head back and forth slightly in rhythm, chucking said shoes over his shoulder before he untied X's choker and set it on the nightstand.

"Well then, good night and may your sanity return to you in the morning." With a smile and a second to pull the covers up to X's chin, Zero patted him on the head and turned to leave.

Or would have, if something hadn't grabbed onto his leg.

"...Don't go yet?" Oh. Hell. He was not going to turn around. He was not going to turn around, he- damnit Zero, listen to the mantra!

He smiled weakly and pulled the hand away from its grip. "I'd rather you didn't come to your senses and kill me X."

X yawned before he frowned, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to find a flaw in that reasoning.

"But I won't?" Oh, gotta love drunken reasoning. It makes perfect sense if you're the one under the influence. Which X was. But Zero wasn't. So not only did it not make perfect sense, it was starting to scare him.  
  
"You've been angry enough lately that I think you might." He argued gently, placing the hand on his chest, where it stayed thank you god, and backed away slowly.

How should he feel at this moment… Guilty that he hadn't stayed? He hadn't exactly looked all that well, but as he had no idea what the hell X was under since Dynamo wasn't talking, maybe it was for the best.

"Goodnight." He smiled slightly, leaning against the now closed door, before stretching his arms up over his head and turning to glare at an eavesdropper. Not that he hadn't known that he was there. Of course he had. But the fact of the matter remained, it was still eavesdropping!

…He did not need a carbon copy running around.

"Sooooo?" Axl asked, leaning slightly to one side almost as if he could see through the door.

"He's asleep." Zero let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, leaning against the wall before sliding down it. He idly played with a few strands of hair, twirling them between his fingers and not looking over when Axl shifted down next to him.

"Zero…" He started slowly, drawing out the silence as if something would interrupt and he wouldn't have to continue, "I don't know how to break it to you, but-"

He let out a short laugh that stopped him flat. "There was nothing wrong, right?" He demanded more calmly than he felt, and felt a weight settle in his stomach or the equivalent there-of at the frown on Axl's usually cheerful face.

"Not that they could see." He agreed, but quickly carried on, "But you never know, which is what we reminded Lifesaver of." He said brightly, smiling in what he hoped was an encouraging way. "So he's still looking into it. X is due back in for a check in the morning, and then-"

"Then you two are off on your 'date'?" Zero teased with a half-hearted smile, which didn't falter when the frown crossed Axl's face.

The words, I bet you'd like to go in my place, died on his tongue as he thought better of it. "He's still going to the festival with me. Gods know why, I mean, no one else thought it would be worthwhile and I sure as heck didn't think it was something he'd do…"

"Especially since you're dressing up." Zero pitched in, leaning forward to tug on his red-orange hair. "You fit the role well enough. The scar's just in the wrong spot."

"Gee, thanks." He muttered, shuffling out of reach. "And you can always come along if you're worried, Zero."

"And have him tearing into me the whole day? Thanks but no." He leaned his head back, ignoring the slight pain when he bumped his skull against the wall and closed his eyes. Confusion is not a feeling he particularly enjoyed. And he definitely didn't like the loss of control it brought about. "Either there really is something wrong or… or I've somehow done something to tick him off to this level."

"Zero…"

He smirked and opened one eye. "Hey, don't worry about it. We've been friends since the first war and we've had our spats, and god knows I've started most of them. When he's cooled down he'll tell me why he's so pissed, we'll have another row where we won't talk for another week, and then we'll make up and it'll be back to normal."

He ignored the stare that brought about.

"Trust me; we've done this enough times that I should know. I'd die for him and he'd kill for me. And as that's something as out of character as it gets for the both of us, needless to say, we'll always get back together."

He had such a peaceful, wistful look on his face and said it with such confidence that Axl couldn't help but quip, "So you're like an old married couple?" He ducked the hand swiping in his direction.

"Only if he's the housewife!"

--------------

Axl was the recipient of a mixture of looks as he waited outside the garage. As this was something he was used to anyway, he just smiled at the more obvious ones and waved. A few people went so far as to pull on his clothing, and a couple of kids tugged on his ponytail. 

He just started whistling.

Someone muttered 'cosplayer' under their breath, to which there were nods and 'ohhhs' of understanding, and someone went so far as to take out a camera.

He just swung his feet, one of his Tatami sandals almost slipping off.

He also received a couple of snobby comments about dressing up as fictional characters, to which he just smirked and in one case, flipped a particularly rude guy the bird. But the main thing he saw was the curiosity; even if it was for cosplay, most people had no idea why he was decked out in a white Hakama and a wine-colored Keikogi.

Well, for one thing, it was comfortable. The Hakama was warm and clung without being restrictive, and the Keikogi fit loose enough that he could move but not have to worry about it flailing about, save for the sleeves but that couldn't be helped.

So in other words, it was something he would deffinetely wear for casual days. He always was more of a trend setter anyway, and wouldn't it be nice if people around the base started wearing them for the heck of it?

For another thing, he had wanted the real outfit. He flipped his ponytail back over his shoulder again. Zero had been right, the only thing out of place had been the scar, and he didn't feel like adding another one.

Now if X would just kindly show up before he gave in to the crowd and started feeling a little self-conscious... he let his head hang as he let out a half-whine half-groan of stress, before it was gone and he tilted his head to the side, looking up and down the aisles in the hope of spotting something with bobbing blue hair.

'Okay, everything will be fine, this will be fun, he will probably not be too out of character...' He took a small breath and repeated the mantra a couple of times for effect, the nervous knot in his stomach dying down to a spastic fluttering of butterfly wings every few seconds.

"Hey, X!" He waved him down, smiling at the sight of a forest-green Chinese top with long sleeves, a gold-brown dragon curled along the sides. It fell over his jeans, halfway down his thighs, slitted at the front and at the sides and overall looked like something Axl wanted to punk him for.

Maybe he'd let him borrow it later.

"Is that a real sword?" X gestured to the hilt tied to his Obi, and Axl smiled, pulling the 'sword' free, if it could even be called that. It was just a small strip of metal attached to a wooden hilt.

Until he hit the switch under said hilt. X's eyes widened with grudging respect when Axl pointed the beam saber at him, and even the fact that it was neon-orange couldn't dampen the sight of Axl illegally sneaking a weapon into a public place. "You can never be too careful." He said matter-of-factly, placing it back in its original spot. Smoothing out his Hakama, he cocked his head to the side in a silent request for criticism.

X rolled his eyes before poking him on the nose. "Yes Axl, you look just like him." He was met with a beam, until, "Save for the scar in the wrong spot. Ready to go?"

**  
A/N** If you've watched Kenshin… or Inu Yasha for that matter, Hakama are the style of pants that those two wear. The Keikogi is the top that Kenshin wears, it ties on the inside, on both sides, one overlapping the other so it stays on snugly, and the Obi is the belt that ties around and pulls in the extra cloth so it shapes to your figure. The Tatami sandals are wooden sandals with black or red string without heels, not to be confused with the kind that make the click click sound when you walk...

I'm sorry, Axl hits me as a cheerful, wouldn't think twice about dressing up in a strange outfit in public, type of person. And yes, he is cosplaying as Kenshin. XP Festivals like that are notorious for cosplayers. And therefore, in the spirit of, I had Axl dress up.

Are the previews a good thing or a bad thing? As Preview #2 will be in the next chapter instead of this one, maybe I'd better leave it be for now? Or should I stick with them?

Review pleaaase?


	6. 5 Something Lighter

…How did a week turn into a month?!

Well, we're moving right now… Kiiiiind of. It took a while to find a place, but we did. And then there's the problem of packing, and then my dad saying: You know what, I don't think I want to move anymore… /starts un-packing/ on second thought, let's move after all! /starts packing again/ then again… /unpacks/ still… /packs/

In other news.. squee! Thankies to my reviewers I hope I can keep the ficcy interesting.

Leland Lancaster: Thanks for the kind words. It's nice to know that people enjoy reading something I write.

Kiri-san no neko-shoujou: Eep. Sorry, I'll try to tone down the humor so you can sleep better. ;

Uzu-chan: I inspired the Axl ficcy? O.O Woo hoo! I did a good deed, I shall go eat a cookie now!

Flaming Freak of Boredom: I was wondering if someone would ask about that… I look at it like this: if Signas is insane enough to keep Zero around, why not hire Dynamo? He's got to be turning a blind eye for the amount of butt they can kick, regardless of past problems. Besides, his personality alone promises fun fun fun! /shot/

Lun: /sweat drop/ Yeah, I noticed that too, but writing IS a learning experience, isn't it? I'll just have to try harder from now on! nod nod

I own noooothing. Most certainly not Rockman X or any of the characters, or any of the song lyrics in any of the chapters.

Chapter 5: Something Lighter

_Song: Independent (Instrumental)_

One simple word summed up Dynamo's mission in life: Mischief.

He lived for it, devoted his free time and lack there of to it. He could, and would, plot for months on end just for the look of shock that would flitter across someone's face. Baiting, pestering, poking and prodding; instilling chaos like a wraith swooping down on a village and flinging cows at random people.

It was a skill.

…One that most people didn't live long with, at least in this line of business with all the trigger happy reploids running around.

"And you're suuuure you don't care that they're alone right now?"

It was a lot like having the Grim Reaper on call 24/7. In fact, he could have sworn he saw the flash of metal out of the corner of his eye whenever he opened his mouth around people with a history of violence. And of going maverick and running around with a lit beam saber, that was a requirement too.

As often as he was around Zero, it looked like the harbinger of death didn't belong to a union.

"Shut up." It was low, menacing, enough to make most hunters in their right minds run, but still not quite the response he wanted. Oh no, that wouldn't come until later, when he had Zero's patience teetering on edge and his fingers twitched towards his weapon.

Push push, prod prod…

Besides, it wasn't an answer. It was a command with an underlying death threat, but not an answer.

"All alone without another person to watch them…" Zero opened his mouth to snap something, thought better of it and tried the ignoring tactic. Something that had been tried, tested, and proven to fail 97% of the time, at least on Dynamo.

Now one might ask, why is he baiting Zero again? You'd think that he would be working on the project he started last week!

Actually, in a way he was. He just wasn't about to turn up at the festival by himself. And it wasn't that he didn't trust his sneaking skills, because he did. It was that X was more experienced, and both he and Axl had sharper eyes than most. It was just something that went along with being a gun/buster toting hunter. On the upside, it meant that they could pick off mavericks from long distance, an asset to any group and it cut down on his workload. Always a good thing!

On the downside, it made spying on them a bitch.

So needless to say, they would probably spot his mane in a crowd without having to look twice. Axl would probably invite him along for the heck of it, and X wouldn't comment since this was Axl's trip. He would respect his decisions, but he'd mentally be coming up with ways to get back at Dynamo for the rest of the day.

So it was more him covering his own ass to have someone else go. That way, he could hide behind the semblance of two people out for the fun of it and stay aloof.

"Don't you know what people do without proper adult supervision?"

In this case, he was trying for Zero since Alia wouldn't go just to spy. She'd want to walk around and take pictures of cosplayers. And look at the booths. And stop and pet stray animals and coo at them… all things that didn't fall under reconnaissance.

"I mean, they could be killing each other right now…" He trailed off, smiling cheerfully. "Or" He trailed off again, but this time it was to pause for dramatics.

Well, that and so Zero could get his threat in.

…What? It was a time honored tradition! Besides, it was boring if it was a one sided monologue.

Zero was a blaring reminder as to why the ignoring tactic only worked 3% of the time. "I'm going to stick my beam saber up your-"

"-Assuming that I'm right," He plowed on over the death threats from the supposedly un-touchable Red Devil. He smiled brightly and swung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer as he stuck a hand forward, as if reaching for something they couldn't see, "They're making out."

…Never mind the fact that it was unlikely as hell.

All that mattered was that Zero should have known better. So of course it was his own fault if he became paranoid, and Dynamo nodded mentally in agreement to this. "Or they found a more secluded space to avoid prying eyes and-" He blinked and stopped at the sight of a beam saber in front of his nose. "I thought we learned that violence was not the answer in therapy, Zero."

"I never finished."

"Why?"

"Because I kicked the guy out a window that's why!"

He could almost feel the icy hand on his shoulder before he opened his mouth. "………You could always just go there and you know, stay out of sight-"

"…Go. To. Hell." At this point, someone would normally be flying through a wall.

Yep, Zero was deffinetely having an off week.

"…Wanna talk about it?"

"No, I don't want to- there isn't anything to talk about!"

_God, I know that you have this thing about hating me since I'm pretty much evil-incarnate, but I'm practically the Kenny of the base, don't I suffer enough?!(1)_

"…"

"…"

"I was tempted to ask Alia to go, but want to be my date instead?'

…Deffinetely going to kick that nun.

-------------

"Excuse me! Mr. Kenshin!" Someone halfway yelled, and Axl turned to be greeted by the sight of a girl hopping up and down in the crowd, waving in an attempt to get his attention. "Can I take your picture?!" 

"Ohhhh…." Well, that was a part of dressing up, he chided himself. Random Otaku's and fangirls bobbed up and down and went trigger-happy with their cameras. "Um, sure!" He sent his Beam-of-absolute-cheeriness and he stepped back until he was against the wall, out of the flow of traffic. He directed the Beam at X, who raised an eyebrow in response. He closed his eyes and put his hands behind his back and he raised the other eyebrow in question.

Oh, like he didn't know what was coming…

"Well? Want to get your picture taken?"

"…Hell no?"

"Awww, c'mon, she might even ask for an autograph." He murmured for X's ears alone, cheering inwardly at the deer-in-headlights look that jumped across X's face at the suggestion. He fought the urge to laugh when X shuddered, reliving a bad memory of some rabid fangirl chasing him down a street.

"Um… I think I'll grab a soda from that vender we passed!" He said in a rush, hoping his voice hadn't raised an octave and, pointing down the street, turned on a dime and started to half-walk half-run.

…And they said that fame didn't have a price? Axl gave a half-hearted pose with his thumb on the bottom of the hilt, the cheery smile wholly his own and ruining the seriousness. She squee-d, taking a quick picture before turning her eyes to where X was ever-so-slowly making a selection and holding up a line. The people behind him started muttering under their breath, making him oh-so-slowly pull out his wallet. Oh look at that, he dropped something!

"Aww… I wish my brother would cosplay with me sometime." She sighed wistfully before smiling again, not catching the sight of his mouth opening in an 'o' of surprise as she trotted off after another cosplayer.

_Brother?!_

He didn't even look up when X came back, something that made him pause. Not that he was complaining about the quiet for a change, but the ooc-ness of it was something that worried him.

That and the dazed, non-blinking stare into absolute space was starting to freak him out.

"Oy!" He snapped, leaning forward to shake the younger reploid. The action seemed to make it worse, as his eyes closed halfway and he started to mumble under his breath.

"Related… related…"

"…" He opened his mouth to comment, but nothing came. Because this is the kind of thing you know you should have some thought on, but your mind is stuck on the oddness of the moment and you can't find anything to say.

…Moving past the mumbling and the fact that he was worrying for what there was of Axl's sanity, he was hit by such a random and strange thought that he was sure it would work. "Look! A Sano!"

If he'd have blinked, he would have missed it. The dazed look passed to one of wide-eyed shock in a split second and he hopped up, scanning the crowd on his toes. "Where?!" He demanded, one arm rising up to block out the sunlight as he swayed from one foot to the other, looking for a trace of a white jacket before he squeaked as X grabbed his arm and dragged him back to earth.

"You were floating up in the clouds. Where were you, and why didn't you call?"

"Ah… Sorry. The Otaku said something."

"Which would be…?"

"Um… shethoughtyouweremybrother."

X blinked once, twice, and tilted his head to the side at the garble that had just run out of Axl's mouth, pausing a moment to just stare at the fidgeting hunter before he leaned against the wall. "I caught half of that. Want to slow down a bit kid?"

"She thought... you were my brother." He blushed, just a little embarrassed. A little. Really!

Okay, maybe more than a little. Was he supposed to be happy that someone thought that they were related? If they were acting like brothers, it meant that they were getting along on some level. Even siblings who acted like they hated each other cared deep down.

..Right?!

If he was an anime character, he might have sweat dropped.

"Oh. Want me to change her mind when she comes back?" Axl didn't know that you could say something so innocently and have such an evil look on your face at the same time. That had to be a skill.

More reason to not trust that smile; it reminded him of a shark with a big, 'give me a hug' grin. There was an evil plot spinning inside that head, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what it was.

Meaning he had to.

…Damned curiosity! "How?"

"Oh, you'll see…" He trailed off, standing upright when the noticed the girl from before heading their way. "I love you bro!" He squee-d, clapping his hands together before they were rested against his cheek, the whole show making him look a lot younger than he really was.

"AwwwW?" She started, the coo at the display of brotherly affection turning into a squeak, eyes growing to the size of dinner plates when he reached over, took his brothers face in his hand, and pulled him in for a kiss.

Well, at least she wasn't the only one who squeaked, because Axl sure as heck made some sort of noise. X was shaking with barely repressed laughter, keeping his thumb between their mouths with one hand as he slipped the other arm around to the back of his neck to pull him closer.

Needless to say, she ran. Obviously not a slash fan. Or at least not an incest one.

"You," Axl started, feeling his cheeks absolutely burn as he pointed in X's direction. He narrowed his eyes when he was met with an innocent grin, because that didn't belong on that face anymore! "Are evil."  
  
"Thanks." He smiled again, pushing off from the wall with all the grace of a servant of hell. Which Axl was starting to think he was. A minion of the dark, who had been posing as a perfectly moral hunter until it was safe to show his true colors… he idly wondered why Zero wasn't leading the trail of torment.

Oh yeah, because they weren't getting along. Scratch the above theory, they all knew who the resident evil-incarnate was.

"You realize that she's accusing us of incest now. And the crowd is making sure to keep their distance too." Well, some of the crowd. Most just shrugged it off or pretended it didn't happen, but a few people were openly glaring. He smiled weakly and rubbed the back of his neck when a mother of two pulled her children to her protectively, glaring at him the whole while.

"Oh, who cares? It's not like we'll see any of them again." He grinned at said mother and grabbed Axl's hand, raising an eyebrow in mock surprise when she stared at him as if he'd shot a nun and trotted off, the calls of, 'mommy what's that person doing?' following behind.

"I'd rather not be stoned later, if that's all right with you…"

"Fine fine, I want to head to the booths anyway." He just shrugged everything off. And why shouldn't he? The fact that he had corrupted some innocent Otaku and a couple of children didn't weigh upon his conscious at all.

Wait, where was his conscious?

(As if in response to the dark deeds of his charge, Chibi X shuddered. He took a sip of his fruity drink to try and calm his nerves, but it didn't help. If anything, the fact that he was drinking something alcoholic just sent his morals into overdrive. "Are you SURE I shouldn't be heading back yet?"

"Of course I am!" Chibi Zero frowned at the over-worked angel and kicked his feet about in the pool. "He's a good guy; he can handle himself for a while." As an afterthought, helped by the fact that X was now holding an empty glass, he grabbed the startled angel and tried to drag him towards the bar.

Something stronger was deffinetely needed to calm his nerves.

"I mean, we've only been gone a few days; what could go wrong?"

"…The fact that you can even ask that scares me! A lot can go wrong in just a few days!"

With a long suffering sigh and the realization that X was not going to go anywhere near that bar until he felt better, Zero flicked his forked tail and sat them both down at a nearby table. "Look, whatever it is, you know that they can handle it on their own." He started rubbing X's palm in slow, soothing circles, and smiled encouragingly. "And besides, when was the last time you took a break from being a martyr?"

He was met by a blank stare, as if the idea was foreign.

"That's what I thought! Now c'mon, I'll even let you play with my pitchfork later!)

Well, that explains the no remorse thing.

"Look at it this way; you'll never be able to say you weren't jumped by a ranking officer."

…That was an upside?

At least no one seemed to care or remember the little incident within ten minutes. That or they had just lost anyone who did in the crowd. Axl bobbed happily, smiling at X's actual bobbing blue spikes and every now and then grabbed his arm to cry, "What's that?" and drag him to a booth.

Good times, good times.

His bobbing brought him to a halt outside a particularly bright booth with accessories of all color and enough metal to blind people who were viewing it at the wrong angle. There, under lock and key and about an inch of bullet-proof glass was a silver loop of a curled up kitsune, sitting there innocently, like it wasn't calling him at all.

Lies!

"And you're drooling at…" Axl jammed his finger against the glass, diagonal to the loop as he resisted the urge to start bouncing on the balls of his feet like a kid.

"It's pretty…"

"It's shiny…"

"It's not that expensive…"

"So get it." So easily said!

"I don't have pierced ears." He lamented with a wistful sigh, though it might have sounded more like a whine to anyone else.

"Is that the only problem?" X sounded incredulous, like it had been a silly thing to even have to ask. He didn't even stop to wait for an answer before he grabbed the hem of Axl's Keikogi and started to drag him away from the kitsune, ignoring how Axl waved his arms towards it in protest.

"No… not there either…" X muttered under his breath, frowning in thought as he turned his head from one direction to the other, ignoring anything else in the crowd until he let out an 'ah hah!' of triumph.

Axl blinked and finally turned to look at the direction they were headed, feeling his stomach sink to his feet at the sight of a bright booth with a red sign reading 'Claire's'.

It had been looming in the distance, but every step brought them just a little closer. A little closer…

He regretted ever opening his mouth; it had been a wistful comment, damn it, he didn't mean that he wanted to get it now!

…Okay! So he had meant he wanted to get it now, but he wasn't willing to suffer through the pain to wear it!

"Um… where are we going?"

He had a bad feeling. A bad, bad feeling. Which only got worse when he was greeted by the completely innocent look on X's face.

…That halo was being held up by horns!

"You're the one who said you wanted that earring. Then again, with your personality I would have assumed you would already have at least one…"

"Oh, and I'm sure you of all people have holes all over the place?" He was greeted by a superior smile as X tugged on his shirt, pulling it up to reveal the expanse of his stomach and…

A bellybutton ring?

"You're kidding!" Axl gawked.

All the distraction he needed to grab his arm and drag him to the nice lady with the gun.

A/N: 1) Kenny. Southpark. Zero pretty much is the Kenny of the series, next to Sigma.

Hm… you know, the next chapter is mostly done. Really! ; I lied tho, Alia doesn't get a bigger part for another chapter or two. /pout/ The only scene I have left to write for the next chappy is the one where I'm debating a couple of things. ; Hopefully it'll be up in a few days.

1)

_Ow. Ow ow ow, the pain owwwww" He whined, putting one hand over the damaged ear as if it could stop the ache. Which it didn't, because life isn't fair like that most of the time.  
  
_

_"Oh, stop being such a baby, you've been through worse." X batted the hand away, leaning forward for a better view of the small, temporary silver loop. "I think it's fitting." He murmured, the rush or warm breath against his still hyper-sensitive ear making him shiver._

_"Really?"___

_"Mmmhm."___

2)

_Damn those eyes, promising peace and calm if he just went along, and... he swallowed, for all the world feeling like this was just some big joke and that it was all on him; he wanted to laugh, if only to soothe his nerves but what would that have made the enemy? That he was unstable or that he was beyond panic; a poor creature awaiting death and snapping mentally in the realization._

_Hell no, he didn't need to be shot any sooner, thanks._

_"We should wait for backup." Let the other Hunters take care of this one, he didn't care. All he wanted to do was drag X to a place where he wouldn't have that look, like the all world was his prey and he was going to spring at something any second now._

Review pleaaaaase?


	7. 6 When assaulted by a pig its time to go

Imbrium/sweatdrops/ Sooooo… I apparently took a long time writing this. (Actually, it was one part of this. The rest has been written for a loooong time!) and various reasons would follow that I won't bore/depress you with (Hey, no one is DEAD on my end and that's good, right?)

Uzu-chan: Lol! The motto, huh… brings new meaning to, 'we want you!' /shot/ And to answer a question from an email... ah, I am writing. Slowly, unfortunately. It's rare when the inspiration hits me now...

Chapter overlay: Axl has a meeting with a needle, Zero finds Mr. Hamlet, Dynamo… is slightly responsible, and X is still OOC. In further news, friends who read this have told me I have lost my mind… again. But that's a normal accusation from various people, and my beta, who keeps telling me they don't /have/ pig races in Japan, so what the who... X D On a second side note, my (guy of all things) friend lobbied for me to please throw in /some real/ hint of X and Axl. Apparently that is the lesser evil folks. (He hates Zero) Did I adhere to his wishes? ...Maybe. (read: the author is easily bribed with Megami Tensei fanart and Cathy is easily bribed by me promising to write a new fic on my own) I still haven't decided to make that the pairing tho, since I'd originally planned something else. P

/Various plot bunnies (many not including X in any way) Assault the author/ AHH!

Hopefully I shall now finish this thing off before the end of the year, with updates every month or two, unless I hit a roadblock like this again. I'm still hoping to have this done at 11 chapters.

I don't own the characters. Or probably even the plot. Or the songs that have random lines sung from them.

When assaulted with a pig, it's time to leave

Apparently it was asking too much for life to go on as normal. In past months he had actually thought things were getting boring and that they were settling into some sort of a routine. He liked routines. He wondered why he ever questioned them.

He could feel the blood rushing in his ears.

"And then we just sanitize it…"

Beat. Beat. Beat… It was a steady rhythm, and he swallowed around the lump in his throat, eying the 'gun' wearily. His gut knotted, and he took one deep, calming breath as the nice lady whose name tag read 'Cindy' grabbed his ear –surprisingly gently- as he squirmed in his seat.

He didn't even turn his head when he felt X grab onto his hand. He must have read the signs, and figured that if Axl ran screaming into the crowd it would cut their trip short and probably get them called into work for a supposed Maverick attack.

Nervous fiddling,

Panicked twitching,

Breath coming faster than normal, in out, as if he couldn't get enough in his lungs…

Axl was officially freaked out.

And all it was was a needle-gun for an earring. If the girl knew what an effect she was having on the normally fearless Hunter in her midst, she might have passed out in shock, or at the very least blinked a few times.

As it was, she just smiled encouragingly. _Sadist_, Axl thought viciously.

It's strange when you can compare the cold hand rubbing your ear with a cotton swab to the hand of death itself. Really it was. Or maybe it was just strange when he could compare that cold hand to the hand of death itself, he wasn't sure. If he had been thinking straight, he would have told her to not bother- it wasn't as if he could catch an infection. And that flimsy little steel would only be able to go through his ear, or somewhere else there was excess synth skin- it couldn't possibly do any real harm to him!

Cindy stuck the temporary loop in the gun, humming slighting as she heard a satisfying click when it loaded.

EEEEE! His felt his skin crawl. If people were meant to have holes in their body, wouldn't they be born/created that way?!

For a split second, he seriously considered running.

But! He was an adult, so he would sit here and take the sharp, painful assault to the ear, because the fact that X was holding his hand with a grip his scrawny little arms had no business having had nothing to do with it at all!

'Cindy' smiled perkily, just a little too perkily for someone who was about to send a needle through his ear at about 100 mph-

…Axl had a really active imagination. Which he kicked, all the while ignoring the fact that X had squeezed his hand in an encouraging manner, choosing instead to hunch down as much as possible in the seat, in some instinctive hope that the lady wouldn't notice him that way.

"Hey Axl, is that someone dressed up as some obscure Final Fantasy character?"

"WHERE?!"

He jerked and clamped down on the hand he was holding out of reflex, ignoring the startled squeak X let out.

Holy crap the kid had a grip!

"Could you let GO now?!" If he had been paying attention, Axl might have noticed that it sounded more than a little panicked and high-pitched. X yanked the hand away and shook it around a few times, completely ignored as Axl brought a wondering hand up to feel the new addition.

Because it was too much to ask that things follow a neat, set path.

…Actually, not too bad. It hadn't even hurt that much. He shook his head of it, the pounding in his ears dying down to a dull throb that went in psych with the haziness in his vision.

"Holy shit! Axl!"

Mmm. Warm. Lap. Which was a lot better than the concrete that he had been about to meet face-first. And of course he wasn't complaining about that. Because who in their right mind would?

Oh yeah, not exactly in his right mind as the adrenaline and other chemicals that he'd built up freaking out were rapidly leaving him in a kind of half-asleep, slightly goofy haze.

"Oy, kid!"

"Mmmrsh?" He wondered aloud, staring blearily up at the pair of green eyes that were locked on him. And just as fast as the dizziness hit him, the knowledge of who he was using as a pillow hit him, because there was only one person with eyes like those.

Because it was boring if nothing threw you for a loop.

...X's lap? He ignored the fact that they had gathered a small crowd in favor of watching the fingers X was waving back and forth.

"If I'd known you were going to pass out I would have waited until we were back at the base. I could have done it."

X could have pierced him at the base?

Obviously it took him a little longer to get around that. Just give him a second, please.

...X?!

Okay, all good.

"I hate youuuuuuu..." Axl whined at the first throb of pain from his ear, bringing one hand up to cup it as turned on his side as if that would help stop the ache. Which it didn't, because since when is life fair like that?

"Oh, stop being a baby, you've been through worse." X swatted the hand away, batting at a few loose hairs for a better look at the small, temporary silver loop.

"I think it's fitting." The brush of warm breath against the still sensitive digit sent a shiver down his spine.

The mantra of 'he will not be too out of character' had died a long, long time ago, even with his efforts of trying to keep it alive. Still, that didn't stop him from asking, "Really?

Whatever the reason…

"Mmmhm... Very sweet."

This was fine, right?

-----------------------

Anyone who knew Dynamo and took one look at his expression would keep walking, pause after three steps and turn around to look again. Because Dynamo was grinning from ear to ear like the Cheshire cat itself, in a surprisingly non-evil way.

Scary, that.

It had started out as a normal day- or not so normal, as he'd spent five minutes pounding on Zero's door until the blond had finally taken the hint that no, the situation was not going to just go away if he ignored it, and sulkily flounced out of his room, decked out in what Dynamo could actually consider relatively spy-worthy clothing- that is, normal street clothes, and a red baseball cap from which his braid was sticking out back. After a quick rundown of the day- wandering around and hoping that they ran into X and Axl, without them actually seeing them- Zero hunched his shoulders at the lack of a plan, and shuffled towards the garage.

There's a difference between work and play- and there were just things you didn't learn about a guy until you dragged them to a cultural event meant for kids. Like, Dynamo had never pegged Zero as a fan of chasing fish around with a tiny net. More scary was the thought that he was actually rather /good/ at it, and had snared two goldfish for himself before shrugging and throwing them to some little kid that was looking up at him in a manner that screamed abject worship of his skills.

That was something that befuddled Dynamo at times- the simple fact that children, for some inexplicable reason that defied all apparent natural human survival instinct/liked/ Zero. When a little would-be shooter grabbed a noise-making pop-gun from that nearby booth, who did it shoot at? Zero. And when they barely gave him a second look and started walking away, who did the kid yell at? Zero. And when Zero chased the child down, yelling, "I'm going to get you and throw you to the man-eating goldfish!" and then proceeded to sit on and tickle him until he'd shrieked himself out of energy, who was still ready to get up and chase Zero around again after a moment of wheezing? The kid.

"You do realize that if the people back at the base knew…"

"But you do like living, so I know I'm okay." Zero said brightly, his step took on a bounce when a nearby stereo started blaring Numa Numa (1), or whatever it was called, and Dynamo would swear to anyone that was listening that the man actually started singing in tune to the weird, Norwegian words.

"You scare me at times."

"Ah?"

"Your speaking in tongues dearling."

"Yavol."

Dynamo did this strange, twitching/spasm motion, and listened blissfully to the next song for a few moments. "So kiss me in the moonlight, you know it always feels right, we'll dance and party all night, mambo mambo lay!" And in retribution Dynamo was singing loudly and swinging around in a way that drew more attention than he should have, considering the reason they were there in the first place.

Reason? What reason? Dynamo couldn't recall a reason, particularly as he grabbed Zero and spun him out, ignoring the yelp of shock/horror and pulled him back in.

"You spin me inside outside, and when you hold me so tight, we'll dance and party all night, mambo mambo lay"

"You are insane." Zero announced strangely calm, particularly as he whipped a poor pedestrian with his braid and was bitched at, turning to flip the man off. "And drawing /attention/. Did it occur to you that there are games here?" Screaming to be released would be hypocritical now.

"...Yes. Where are you going with this? Because you /do/ know that they /rig/ those shooting games- we'd NEED Axl or X, if only to figure out the adjustment in the angle, not to mention the sheer amount of tiny black spots-"

"... that they might be wandering around. Playing."

"That too. So you're concerned that they'll spot us. Dancing like a couple of normal people. Except that, knowing X, creature that he /is/, he would not pay attention to such things as /couples/ in broad daylight acting /couple-y/ as he despises PDA, and walk on. Deny it."

"..." That was actually... a rather well thought out, valid and true reason. But he wasn't going to admit it. So he just stared. Which was admittance enough for Dynamo.

"So actually, this is a safe place to be, especially if there are other people around, blocking us from outside view. Now let me enjoy my song!"

After that it was a matter of actually /spotting/ X and Axl, walking through the crowds- Dynamo would contribute it to his years of honed senses as a Mercenary, though Zero had told him he was an idiot and it was Axl shrieking about his ear as they walked nearby.

They took refuge behind a booth that was selling plants and looked on as Axl ran by, a vice-like grip on X's wrist and if they listened carefully they would swear X was not quite /shrieking/ incomplete sentences telling Axl to let him go, but every time he almost got one complete one out he stumbled and tried to start a new one.

Hm. Something told Dynamo that X was going to spend some time in a training simulator after this... or weigh Axl down somehow...

Because really, the kid had to be lighter than the rest of them with that hover ability, that was a given. It was expected that he'd be able to run faster, right?

X let out something akin to a squeal as he lost his footing, but was just pulled into the air slightly by his Lieutenant. X called his name in the tone he usually reserved for practice, more precisely when Axl accidentally blew up another units target and Signas was in the room for it, and he came a screeching halt.

Axl turned around sheepishly and let X go.

"They're cute, aren't they?" When X isn't trying to perfect his glare of death so he can burn holes into people's heads, Dynamo added mentally.

Zero frowned and chose not to be baited by the comment. "Even if they /were/ cute together, which I'm not going to agree or disagree to, it's not necessarily any of our business."

"Sounds like you were practicing that speech for a few hours. Was /that/ why you were up so late and didn't want to get up early?"

Zero didn't bother looking his way or responding. Instead, his attention was drawn to a neighboring booth with weapon displays.

"Zero, we're not here to shop. Zero!" Dynamo let out a growl and tried to grab his braid before it got out of range, effectively getting a handful of thin air. Really, he'd thought that if either of them got of track, it would be him and not Zero! Responsiblity on his shoulders never made him feel well.

"Stop trying to distract yourself with shiny objects and get back to the task at hand!" If Zero heard the comment, then he walked a couple more lanes down out of spite. Otherwise he was just trying to ignore the ex-merc for a few moments. "You know that they could go anywhere when we're not looking-"

Out of the very corner of his eye, Dynamo spotted a familiar head of red hair. For a moment, Dynamo was able to convince himself that it /wasn't/ Axl until he picked up the familiar chatting in the distance before Axl let out a loud cry of, oh my god the world's biggest alligator! And they have a giant turtle too! And proceeded to pry X's hands off the protective fence of a nearby fireworks set-up as he protested something along the lines of, I thought this was a Japanese cultural festival, not a mix with some foreign carnival!'

Dynamo grinned like death wasn't being dragged in a bee-line for them by an overly optimistic Edo-era fan. "And… oh! Look, Pig Races!!" He shouted, pointing farther down the line where a crowd was gathered- and would probably hide them if they got in deep enough.

"Pig-?" Pig races. Where those adorable little piggies are all lined up in a neat little row, and sent running down the tracks in the hopes of getting a Twinkie, or maybe some Pocky, and the spectators find some weird, demented pleasure there in as they scream and cheer for their favorite pig to win.

"Hell. No."

Dynamo weighed who was scarier right now- an angry Zero or an angry X. The latter one out. He grabbed Zero's arm and dragged him past a couple rows of spectators, more specifically the lankiest ones he could find. "One race."

"Let me think. No. Because no. And guess what, no!"

"But Zero! How can you refuse those cute little eyes?!" To demonstrate his point, Dynamo did the unthinkable. He lifted a pig mid race. There were gasps, and in the distance, he could have sword a whistle was blown.

"How can you deny Hamlet?!" Dynamo shook the startled piglet in Zero's face, ignoring the way Hamlet squealed and moved his tiny hoofs around, the sound breaking through the stupor that had grasped the crowd and bringing them back to life.

"Dynamo- put the pig down." And there it was; something that he had actually thought he'd have never say in the ex-merc's company. For some reason, that fact only made him feel worse.

"Why?"

"Because the nice security guards are coming this way?" Zero pointed this out like it was the simplest thing in the world. Because really, when you dealt with assassination attempts, half-crazed Mavericks and other such life and death situations on a daily basis, a couple of security guards with night sticks and tazers were just… normal. Mundane. Dare the thought enter his mind: Boring.

This did not mean he wanted that thing anywhere near his hair. Which is what he snapped at the ex-merc, along with a few well chosen curses in languages ranging from Cantonese and Spanish, grabbed his arm- the one not holding 'Hamlet' as the pig had been lovingly dubbed, because he seemed to not want to part with the thing and started dragging him the other way.

---

"Help meeeeeeee"

"Axl, we've been over this before." X crossed his arms, but didn't back away from the pool they were both leaning over. Axl had spent the better part of the last five minutes using various paper nets in the ever famous, attempting-to-catch-a-fish-without-the-cheap-as-hell-net-breaking game. "Goldfish are dirty, cannibalistic creatures that I don't want anywhere near my other nonexistent aquatic life."

"Because getting one would make you get more." He ventured, wincing when the fish broke through and he was left with a hoop again.

"Yes. And then they would be expensive food for the cheap, cannibalistic festival goldfish. I can't condone that. I think there should be a warning sign on this pool, 'will eat anything smaller than itself. Or will slowly chew it down over time.'"

"…ew." Axl looked up with wide, disturbed eyes as his net broke again.

"Yeah, a half eaten goldfish in a bowl, with the other fish looking… I don't know, TOO happy was a disturbing sight. There's a reason I don't own fish anymore."

"…Stop it X, you're making me not want to play this anymore." Axl let out a whimper, for once not digging around his wallet for another round.

"Then I've made the world a better place. Oh don't pout so, I'll get you a candy floss..."

Axl glared at him still, if only because he was being bribed with candy by someone who was... actually, he'd have to do a math formula to figure out the age difference. He didn't want to think about the meaning of that at the moment, seeing as X only /looked/ about a year older than him. "Bribery will get you only so far."

"The way you said that, it means there's a way to get further?"

Axl almost dropped his wallet, but then saw the teasing grin and smacked X with it.

"Absolutely /nothing/! Good Light, I think I've officially been hit on by /all/ of the head commanders now, teasingly or not!" He whacked X a few more times for good measure, noting that normally their situations would be reversed and X would be chasing him down for some reason or other.

X put up his arms in self-defense, trying not to smile at the pout/glare on the redhead's face. "You have not mentioned this to Zero, right? Because I haven't seen an increase in commander deaths since you arrived... well, no more than usual."

"Ah?"

"He'd kill them. You were off limits, at least until you were older."

Axl raised an eyebrow. "Says who?" He demanded, semi-outraged, though slightly -unreasonably- touched at the display from Z-

"Hm... actually, that would be me. Though Zero agreed wholeheartedly, I think it was the idea of getting permission to openly cut off the hands of people who tried anything untoward that really sold him..." He looked thoughtful for a moment as he went to a vendor. "I'm trying to think here... what did we say we'd allow dating? 12?"

Axl let out a squawk of anger. "Oy! Oy! I'm already older than that!"

X smiled, looking genuinely amused for a change, "I know." and handed him a candy floss. Axl blinked at the sugary treat for a moment, trying to think if there was a double meaning behind those words (because really, how /could/ there be? the back of his mind was chirping in) but was distracted by something off in the distance, steadily getting closer.

Axl blinked at what he would swear was the sounds of a /pig/ in distress before something slammed into him.

"X." Dynamo smiled cheerfully, raising a hand in salute as he wondered if X would be kind enough to get off him without kneeing him anywhere painful.

Shockingly, X was too surprised to be properly angry. Instead, he blinked about five times at the ex-Merc he'd ended up sitting on. "…Dynamo?"

"Hey Axl"

"…Zero?" Axl tilted his head to the side, eying the non-descript clothing. The red hat that Zero was sporting, and the purplish-pink sunglasses Dynamo that were at crooked angle on Dynamo's face from the fall.

They looked, and it was hard to admit, perfectly normal. Except, "…Is that a pig?" there was nothing normal about carrying around a squealing piglet.

Zero had the good grace to blush and avert his eyes, a slightly strained smile making its way across his face. "…Maybe."

"So you guys are here…" X started, that slightly thin mouth thinning further, eying the animal in distrust… but not quite dislike. In fact his fingers were twitching towards it slightly in restraint as it wiggled its stubby little legs and let out a grunt of distaste.

Huh. Dynamo wondered if that was normal behavior or if he'd be cooing over the thing on a good day. Either way, he tilted his head to the side and let out a cheerful, "Zero was looking for a new pet, but I don't think that the owner was quite willing to part with it."

On queue, he heard angry shouting from a few lanes over.

"…You're freaking kidding me." X quickly got his expression under control to stare at them, willing himself not start looking for a nearby tree branch to hit them with. He spared a look at Axl, who had sticky candy on his costume from the fall, and growled at the two swordsmen, willing them to be a bad hallucination.

The shouting was coming closer...

"I think we should go. Don't you think we should go?" Axl asked, as cheerfully as one can when there are security guards with nightsticks and probably tazers approaching.

X let out a deep breath before grabbing Axl and bolting down a nearby lane, not looking back to see if the other two were following. Some basic instinct told him that they were nearby.

Ugh.

"Can we stop by the alligator pit and throw those two in?" He demanded, in a low enough tone that he was sure the aforementioned wouldn't hear.

Axl laughed. At least it the afternoon was somewhat salvaged.

----------

The only thing that Zero had to show for the day was the scrapes from where he'd hit the sidewalk.

…And an annoyingly /pink/ animal that was running around the base.

"Dynamo. What the /hell/ am I supposed to do with a /pig/?"

"Use you imagination. All else, you can cook it. There's got to be a holiday coming up soon-"

"Haaaaaaaaaaamlet. Here piggy! Here piggy!" Except that Axl was cooing and motioning it towards him like a stray cat and X had decided that chasing after somebody's lunch was beneath him. The rec room was pretty much that- a /wreck/, the furniture had been overturned by the chasing down of the little creature.

Out of the corner of his eye, X eyed the fleeing animal with apparent distaste as it waddled under the nearby table, before he rolled his eyes and walked over to it. Muttering under his breath, he reached under and pulled the squealing creature out before settling it under one arm where it let out a confused 'ree?'. He looked down at it for a moment with his new and improved Commander Glare 2.0 and it proceeded to shut up.

"Put it anywhere near a stove and I'll make a Christmas wreathe out of your hair."

"Whose?"

"Both of you!"

"Then what AM I supposed to do with that damned thing?!" Zero demanded, frowning down at the still quiet pig that X had decided to thrown into his hands.

X gave him the same look he gave the pig a moment ago, having the same silencing effect. "How would I know? You're the one who went to the festival FOR it, it's not the pig's fault you have a short attention span! Why don't you let Dynamo give it to Alia? She'd probably like it, and it's not like she'd doubt it was a present /he'd/ give."

Dynamo opened his mouth to let out an offended, hey! But thought better of it. It kind of /was/ something he'd be likely to do. And it wasn't worth having a pig thrown at him to argue the point.

"Either way, don't cook it! And don't kill it! And... I don't know! It had just better be alive the next time I see it!" The words lacked the force he had used before, as he leaned down and tapped the pig on the nose, looking like he wanted to do more than that- coo, maybe take it with him. But he about faced before anyone could really swear anything and left the room, leaving Zero holding the pink thing for a moment.

"...So Dy. /Do/ you think Alia would want this thing?"

---

"Hey, X…"

"Mm?"

"Why did you come along today? I mean, it doesn't really seem like something you'd be interested in…"

X paused, thinking on the matter for all of three seconds before he patted Axl on the head, trying not to wince when his hand came away sticky from the cotton candy that he hadn't had a chance to wash off yet. "I guess not." He admitted, still shaking his hand, and added almost ruefully as he did so, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"At the time." Axl chirped, pulling a bang down and rubbing it with his fingers to test for sugar. "Any regrets?"

"No. I get to see Zero and Dynamo carrying around something /pink/ after all. And it wasn't all that bad before they rammed into us like a couple of herded sheep."

Axl thought on that for a moment, before he blinked doe eyes at X. "...Do you want to go next year?"

"Maybe. Ask me about a month in advance. And don't even think about trying to get me into costume."

-----

A/N

1) Dragonstea din Tea. Love the song. It's used a lot in yaoi amv's.

So. This thing is like, over 4,000 words. So... There are 7 chapters and /still/ no actual action (of the boyboy kind). So... the author needs to get her act together because rabid Pairing bunnies are starting to pound on her door, demanding attention.

On a side note, the next chapter is... halfway done, which is why I felt safe updating this. However, look how long /this/ sat on my computer. -crosses fingers-


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